Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Follow up question to earlier "American Family" ?

I'm curious as to why so many of you feel that marriage license is an integral part of what makes you a "family"?

Why do you need the government's approval of your union for it to be "real" or "valid"??

Answer Question

Asked by beachmamaof2 at 5:35 PM on Jul. 20, 2009 in Politics & Current Events

Level 17 (4,173 Credits)
Answers (9)
  • I also need the government's approval to drive a car. Don't see the problem. Life is easier when you choose to follow the law. If you don't like it work on changing it from a legal perspective.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:43 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • What law? There is no law that says you MUST be "joined" by a marriage license in order to be a family.

    And driving a car is a privilege that carries with it the possibility of injuring another - so making sure you are qualified to operate it properly is necessary.

    You can't compare the two.


    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 7:16 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • its a religious thing for me... being married to my husband by someone with God's authority makes my marriage important and sacred. Respect my religion, i respect your beliefs- you can believe whatever you want. Why does it bother you that people are getting married?

    Answer by Ginanne at 7:24 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • You misunderstand Ginanne...

    I have no problem with others wanting to be married; especially for religious reasons.

    However in reading that other question as to what makes an ideal American Family I saw many many responses that specified Mother and Father married - and I wonder why so many feel that gov't document is so important?

    You are able to be married in the eyes of some churchs (and thus your God) without the gov't marriage license also btw - not many but some...

    Answer by beachmamaof2 at 7:27 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • that is an interesting point. I would still say its more of a religious thing. Maybe direct the question to those specifically that arent religious or athiest. To be married where i live i needed a marriage license, thats the only reason i got the govt okay.

    Answer by Ginanne at 8:04 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I got married because I love my husband. I was raised by a set of values and moral guidelines. Marriage is one of those. The religious side is the reason for the guidelines. I have been married for 30 years. Yes, we wanted to be legally bound to each other, but we also wanted to be wed in the eyes of our church. That commitment meant that we were intending to be together "forever". That commitment meant that it would not be easy to bail if or when we hit a rough patch. That commitment meant that our children would have role models for life and not for "while things are fun and easy" and then on to the next. Marriage is more than a legal document. It means that you are willing to make a commitment and then stick to it because love and lust are not enough to make a good marriage. It takes compromise and desire to make a life with another person.

    Answer by jesse123456 at 8:15 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • The question from which this question was based, was an exercise in "finding our core values again!" With all of the permissiveness in society today, and people not feeling they need to follow in tradition, we have incredibly high divorce rates, blended families with step parents, half siblings and step children galore, few people attend places of worship, few people know their neighbors. We have become a materialistic, self absorbed society that feels entitled and lacks motivation to do for oneself and their family.

    I longed for a "traditional family" as a child, and found that in my husband's family (I call them "The Waltons"--if anyone remembers that show from the 70's!). I am raising my children in that tradition. Some people may find it "hokey" but I could care less. There is nothing wrong with old-fashioned values and traditions morals and ethics.

    Answer by LoriKeet at 8:22 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • Never really thought about it...I dunno~I like the idea of legally recognizing marriage for others because it shows consent. Opposed to being a forced union. Sounds silly, but not too long ago a man would sell his daughter for a mule. So, at least legally she has the right to get out of the union. A union of consenting adults, imo is a stronger base for a growing healthy family than a forced marriage... Otherwise, I dunno~maybe some feel the legal doc.which recognizes a couple as a legal union, allows them to family care, needs, and programs that would otherwise not apply to them. In the military, if you are not legally married, the non-military spouse does not get access to base childcare, family support, commissary, bx, health care, etc. Which many of these programs can strengthen a marriage, especially the demands of a military family. Just some thoughts... who knows?


    Answer by grlygrlz2 at 8:26 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • It is a religious thing to me too. But the bible does not say you have to have amarriage license. Matter of fact some believe that a goverment license is against the Bible since it was issued by man and not God. Not sure where it is in the bible or if it is. So if someone knows please tell me.I always htought tha until you get married an dhev the license you were just sleeping together.

    Answer by Ibelongtojesus at 7:30 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.