Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what's a tactful way to ask if someone's pregnant?

I was at the doctor's office today and there was a large women sitting next to me. We struck up a convo about waiting too long and I asked her if she was pregnant. Well it turns out she was 37 weeks and I couldn't tell due to her size. And because there are so many different types of doctors in that office, there's really no way to tell what people are there for. I felt sooooo bad afterward and I hope to God I didn't make her feel uncomfortable.

Also I was in the store not too long ago and the woman who waited on me looked like she was four or five months along. I was dying to strike up a convo about babies but what if I was wrong and possibly offended her by simply asking? I decided to bite my tongue and went about my business. Is there ever a tactful way to ask if someone's pregnant?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 8:47 PM on Jul. 20, 2009 in Pregnancy

Answers (11)
  • There isn't. If you're not sure just don't ask.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:49 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • You sound like a friendly sort of person.
    Just talk about other things and maybe they will volunteer that they are expecting. If they don't...don't ask. They may have a deformed child on the way or who knows what that would make it uncomfortable to talk about with a stranger/acquaintance.

    Answer by timelessglass at 8:53 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • You could always ask if they are planning on having children. Usually if they are pregnant they will say so then.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:55 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I never never never ask....I would rather just not know than to offend someone like that..

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:58 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I would never normally ask but seeing as I'm pregnant without any girlfriends that have been pregnant or even have kids, I get a little excited seeing and talking to other pregnant women who can relate what I'm going through. That and I've been asked a million times when I'm due or how big I look from complete strangers. I don't offend easily though.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:04 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I would never ask. I might talk about my kids, but would/will never ask someone. I had somebody ask me when my baby was four months old. It was HORRIBLE and embarrassing. I just said, nope not pregnant, just fat. I bet she will never ask anybody else if they are expecting.

    Answer by Nathskitten at 9:20 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • lol, the previous responses are funny, some are. Umm im pregnant and I only get asked by older women or other pregnant women. but then again im not a naturally large person so u can completely tell... someone knew when I was 18 weeks I was shocked. i didnt know if anyone else could tell yet but i guess they could.

    I would say if its obvious than you can ask. of course u run the risk of a woman stil being swollen and getting offended. but i say only if ur positive if theres any doubt dont ask some women get sensitive as they should if they r not

    Answer by Dom123123 at 9:36 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • Lol I dunno I just stare from a distance and whisper to my s/o "Was I that big?"
    When I was pregnant, still working, I kept greeting pregnant women (furniture sales) and they would be so much bigger than me (typically, it was not their first.) They'd mention it and ask, "When are you due?" And I'd say "Next Month" and they'd look like they were going to kill me. And really, it felt like I had to ask them about their due date, which was always about 7 months later. It was always awkward.

    Answer by sweetphoenix529 at 9:53 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • dont ever ask. thats just rude.

    Answer by trl30 at 9:59 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • haha, I've been in that situation a few times. Once, right after I had a baby, I was at the doc's office and the receptionist was talking like she was pregnant but I really couldn't tell. She could have been pregnant or just kinda chunky. I really wanted to say 'so when are you due?' but I was deathly afraid she wasn't pregnant. I felt bad for not saying anything cause I think she really wanted to talk about her pregnancy or future kids or something (if she was indeed, pregnant). IT was vague and uncomfortable.

    Answer by danielp at 10:34 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.