Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

"Crying it out "

I was wondering what people think here. I can't let my baby cry when I know I can fix it can you? SOme say that you have to or the baby will be screwed up/. What do you think.

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Jul. 20, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Answers (12)
  • If a baby or even a toddler is crying there is a reason. Even if the child is 'only' crying for attention. What does it hurt giving them the attention they crave?

    If my daughter is crying for any reason I try to comfort her and fix the problem.

    Answer by casperskitty at 9:16 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I think you need to do what you feel is best for your baby. I'm not a fan of letting my DD cry but sometimes I have to let her do it so I can cook, take showers, etc. But I never let her cry for more than 15 minutes. That is just my personal choice though, no matter what anyone tells you - YOU know what is best for your baby better than anyone else.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:18 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I never did it, but kinda did a lighter version. before laying my son down, I always made sure he had a clean diaper, was fed and burped, and the temp wasnt too hot or cold. I read or sang a song, rocked him, and laid him down, and left the room. if he fussed, at first I came running in and picked him up. But I learned to just give him a few minutes. after a few minutes if he was still fussing or escalated to a cry I'd pick him up and comfort him and lay him back down. if he was hungry, I fed him, needed a diaper change, I changed him...etc.. picking him up and checking up on him every few minutes if he still cried, never created a bad habit nor did I ever consider that spoiling him!

    Answer by Owl_Feather at 9:18 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • Everyone is different. However, you're baby is NOT going to be screwed up if you don't make them cry it out. I personally can't stand it. I can't sit there and listen to them cry and do nothing about it, my heart just won't let me. For some though, it works, and if they can sit through it, good for them! The most I've made it is 5 minutes, and the crying only ever got worse. Just my opinion. If they're crying for a reason, than something can be fixed. My girls are old enough now though, that I can tell a real cry from the "I'm crying because I know you'll come to me and not make me go to bed" cry.

    Answer by avpriddis at 9:19 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • every baby is different. i am a co-sleeping momma since birth and will be with #2,. but now she is 2 1/2 and shes getting to be a big girl and i need to prepare the sleeping situation for the next LO so now im doing a light version of CIO. as to where i dont run to her every whimper.but no your child WILL NOT be screwed up if you choose cio. but i cant stand to hear any baby cry:) i guess im just a "softy" lol

    Answer by naturepeace at 11:12 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I read somewhere (I think it was a reliable source but can't remember it) that you should pick up a crying baby less than five months old and try to comfort him because at that age they're still too little and their crying really means they have a need, even if they just need to be held. A baby was in the womb for more than nine months and all of a sudden they are out and on their own, no longer attached to mommy, so that's why they still have a need to be close. After the five months you can start teaching them to be on n their own, without picking them up at every whimper. It made sense to me so that's what I plan to do, Although I do admit that you really can't get much done when you are attending to your baby all day.


    Answer by pgaytan at 11:30 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I am a big fan of the feed/wake/sleep babywise technique. It really helped not having my little boy needing a bottle to be able to go to sleep. I have never had an issue with him falling asleep on his own without being rocked to sleep. I always had a routine after play to read and sing and do some cuddle time. Then, before his eyes were even near closed I would lay him down and not go back in the room at all. Earlier on he would cry a little but I had a 10 min rule for crying. He never cried longer than that. Now, he is 11 months old and doesn't cry when going to bed all just rolls over and goes to sleep. Occasionally he still wakes up during the night but I never go in there and he never cries more than about 2 minutes during that time. Earlier on when I used to go in the room to comfort him everytime he made a sound it just made things worse so I learned to just let him get himself back to sleep.

    Answer by mommy2Brycen at 11:58 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I was told by all the nurses in the NICU that sometimes you need to let them cry so they can learn to entertain themselves but not if they are like really young like 2 months around the age of 6 months

    Answer by Breezy1988 at 1:23 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • We let my son CIO... but didn't start until he was 6 months and never for a very long time.
    At 11 months he was still waking frequently at night so we bought a book by Ferber and it had a method of crying it out and it worked great for him... the most he ever cried at one time was 8 minutes... I don't think that will cause any damage and now he sleeps at night!

    Answer by AmiJanell at 2:00 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Here is what my midwive told me... Crying is important, it helps build muscles, but there are diffents levels of crying. I was told 15 minutes is the limit, so I can leave her in the crib while I shower, potty, etc. But every mom knows that cry that means buisiness and I never ignore that one.

    Answer by brittneysmom31 at 3:06 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.