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Have other woman had there husbands emotionally abuse them while pregnant?

I am seven months pregnant and I just seperated with intentions to divorce my husband. He verbally abused me throughout our marriage. I only have been married since January but couldn't anymor. He has a son from a previous relationship that I excepted with open arms because I loved my husband. He told me that his ex girlfriend was pregnant with another man's baby and saying that it was his. Throughout these few months he would ignore me and say horrible things to get me upset, not to mention he didn't want the baby I am pregnant with. When I finally said enough is enough I come to find out that he is the father of his ex's baby girl and I went through the cell phone records and found out that he had been having an affair with another woman for God only knows how long. Now he tells me that if I put him on child support when I give birth that he will file for custody. He also said that he never wants to see again. Help

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Dreambaby15

Asked by Dreambaby15 at 11:27 PM on Jul. 20, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • ull be okay go for childsupport he has no reason to ask for the baby... and the judge wont just give him the baby.. besides sounds like he is only saying that to make u not apply for childsupport
    miss_nevin

    Answer by miss_nevin at 11:30 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • Don't play the games. He's an asshole. I'm going through this same situation right now...only our daughter is one. It's all mind games and threats, and it's all ridiculous. You do what you need to do to take care of yourself and your baby, which is your priority. Please PM me if you want to talk more....I know EXACTLY what you are going through.
    sophiafarris

    Answer by sophiafarris at 11:30 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • all guys say that bs (will take child if you file for cs). It's a control thing to manipulate you into giving him a free ride in life (no cs). He's a liar and a cad. I'm sorry he turned out to be a jerk but he can't take your child bc you file for cs. Call the local domestic violence shelter and see if you can't get some free counseling. Verbal abuse is bad enough when not pregnant but when pregnant you can stress not only yourself but your child. He's not worth that. Get away from him for a while and think things out
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:31 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • I say go to the police station or DA's office to file this verbal abuse, once its on record he cant trun back. and then use all the resources they give u for personal counseling and divorce. It'll show courts you really needed help. oh also file a restraining order immediately, on pretences of emotional abuse, it will also show that he is no good.

    Then once your baby is born, that WEEK go file for full legal/physical custody. NOt half, he will get his visitations if you have full custody, and then once u get full custody sue his sorry ass for child support and back support for the time u didnt get it...this will have him trapped... GOOD LUCK
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:34 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • He's just saying he wants to get custody to scare you from putting him child support. It sounds like he's not very careful when it comes to safe sex practices nor does he care about anyone elses feelings but his own. If I were you, I would document everything that has gone on between the two of you and kinda try to build a case against him so that the judge can see that you are fit to care for the baby. He has to prove you are unfit to take the baby away anyway. I wouldn't worry about it. You deserve to be with a guy that will love you for you and treat you with the respect you deserve. Good luck girl!
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 11:34 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • You're doing the right thing. Don't listen to his BS - that's typical of an emotional abuser. He wants you to think he has the upper hand - he doesn't and the fact that he's threatening you proves that he doesn't. Let him ask for custody all he wants - he'll have to prove that the baby would be better with him than with you - I doubt he'll keep interest long enough to go through with it.
    PaceMyself

    Answer by PaceMyself at 11:37 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • When you get divorced he will have to pay child support and there will be custody and visitation agreements. It's all part of the divorce. Make sure you divorce him quick after the baby is born. If the other woman gets a child support order before you they may subtract that from his income when they calculate child support.

    Make sure you breastfeed. Not only will it be best for the baby but it will help with custody. Anyone can give the baby bottles.

    Don't talk to him at all. Don't let him try to tell you he has to be at the birth. Being upset during birth can stop labor. You have the right to decide who is at your birth.


    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 11:42 PM on Jul. 20, 2009

  • Please, this one time my husband took our 2MONTH old, yes 2 months, put her into the carseat and said he was going to get pictures at sears, I WAS BREASTFEEDING!!!!!!! aND HE JUST WOKE HER UP , AND TOOK HER IN THE HUGE CAR SEAT NOT FITTED, unbelievable. I think he did this just to see me react. Well I told the police and they did N O T H I N G ! ! !
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:03 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Im not trying to scare u or be a pessimist but.its not all that easy to get total custody, u never know what judge u will get and even worse if the baby daddy gets an attorney and u dont have one u could get split. its really sad but the going trend is equal visitation between the parents. I dont know what state u are in but dont be fooled by everyone telling u this is so simple and he wont get custody, it happens sometimes where the dad DOES get custody, make sure u keep ur nose clean and u get an attorney to help u through this, do not go into court blindly thinking ur getting everything, I did and it is definitely not a fullproof plan. I had a restraining order and everything and the judge was going to allow split custody!!! it wasnt until i talked my ex out of it that we both dropped custody court and decided to do things on our o wn. I also did NOT ask for cs because that was part of the plan i made with him unfortunately
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:48 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • and to add to the above poster the cops wouldnt do anything because the state considers the father just as much a part of the childs life as the moms so they will not do a thing when the dad takes the baby unless the child is in grave danger or it is not his visitation period, if there is no custody order or visitation order the dad can just come and take the child whenever he wants, thats the law in most states. Its a real scary thing and prompted many moms to skip town and kidnap their own children in order to protect them. I have a friend whos boyfriend took her kid to another state and the police would not do anything about it. She had to kidnap the kid back, it was really hard on her and now she had to go to court to get custody and she only has split.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:53 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

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