Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

if you're teen is pregnant..were you a strict parent or relaxed?

i was just curious if you have a daughter who is in thier teens & pregnant if you were relaxed about dating & socializing w/boys or were you very strict to the point the girl is sneaking around but you didn't even know they were seeing someone. no judgements just want to know from others experiences

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 11:56 PM on Jul. 20, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (13)
  • I do not have a teen, I have a three year old, but I was the pregnant teen a few years ago. My parents were more strict than relaxed, but not like The Duggars strict. I only slept with my daughter's bio father five times over the course of a year, so it's not like I was sneaking out partying and sleeping around, I just wasn't smart enough to use protection.

    Oh yeah, and here's irony for you. Slept with him 5 times and I was pregnant, now I've been TTC for over a year with my husband and still no baby! lol

    Answer by toriandgrace at 12:00 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Both my sisters were pregnant as teenagers. One carried to term and got pregnant again within a year, one had an abortion. Both of them lived under very strict rules. I was 19 (but married and self-sufficient) when I got pregnant, my sister was 16 but had a miscarriage and my brother was 18 when he got his baby's mother pregnant. 5 of us, living under relatively strict rules (though my mom got REALLY lax after my dad died 6 years ago, and my pregnancy and my two younger siblings pregnancies all happened after that), and 5 of us had teen pregnancies.

    I think that it's not about strict or lax, I think it's about values and education.

    Answer by Ati_13 at 12:13 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • My best friend in high school got preg. at 16. Her parents were ultra strict. Never let her do much, she had to babysit little brother all the time, clean the house all day on saturdays, was prepetually grounded it seemed like, had to be in bed by 8:30 pm every night. She played hooky from school & went to a boys house. Ended up preg. SO much for strict rules!

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:59 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I'm often criticised for my liberal parenting but results are what counts and so far my 16 year old daughter does not smoke, do drugs, or drink, she is not sexually active and she hasn't broken the law.


    Answer by beeky at 6:45 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • "Strict" is relative. What I see as normal, other's may see as "strict" or vice versa.

    My best friend's parents were very liberal. She was allowed to "date" as soon as she wanted to. She was pregnant at 11 but miscarried for obvious reasons. Her parents wound up letting her boyfriend move in with her when she was just 15 because "he had a rough home life". Initially, he was supposed to sleep in another room, however, within 2 months he was sleeping in her bed in full view of her parents.

    My children do not date (oldest is 16), have never tried drugs, don't smoke, are respectful...and usually tell me that I'm not strict enough, lol. I hear comments like, "I would NEVER let my child do thus and so".


    Answer by MomP31 at 11:39 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I agree with Ati 13, it is values and education. I don't think I'm strict, my 16 yo dd has a bf and he is respectful to her and to us. They both know how I feel about sex, at this stage I think they are too young to handle the emotional side of it. But I also know I can't stop them if that is what they want. I have had MANY talks with her and have told her that this is something I don't want her doing, BUT if she is going to to be smart about it and safe. So far so good, these kids don't drink, smoke or do drugs. None of her friends do. I really hope she holds off with sex, but the one thing I keep telling myself is he is a good kid who means alot to her and she to him. It isn't a one night stand just to get it over with. But still I am hoping they wait. So far so good. I just try to make it difficult for them to be alone too long!

    Answer by wallmom1 at 12:25 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I too have had talks with my 17yr DD and her 16yr BF. They met at church and have been dating seriously for about a yr now. But when I say (date), their dates are at our house, his house or his Gparents house. Only in a blue moon when they have cash that they will go out on a real date.
    We try to keep them busy and we all talk about everything with them. They are very open and say that they stay around adults so they are not tempted to do other things. We sometimes feel like we are baby sitting them but DD will be 18 in March 2010 and he won't be 17 until Aug.2010. We will all do what ever is necessary to keep them virgins as long as it takes. We do know they want to have sex but they don't want to hurt GOD, themselves or anyone else with that type of relationship. They have an idea of what their first time should be like. I really hope they make it.
    I feel they are not ready but they will know it when they are.

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:17 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • my lilttle girl is 18 the youngest and she prego and im happy as can be im the kind of mom if i do it i cant say no nad if i have it u can to but i gor prego with my firsst child at her age so cant say any thing

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:29 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • To anon 317. Where in your bible does it say that premarital sex hurts G-d?

    Answer by rkoloms at 11:02 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • It's all about teaching values and morals plus be open and honest. If my mom would have been open and honest and talked to me I would have not ended up getting pregnant at an early age.

    Answer by wheresthewayout at 12:10 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.