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How do i try to fix things with my mom.

I'm 18 and pregnant with twins. i then moved 1000 miles away from my family with my fiance. recently i got engaged and i would not only love to tell my mom and have her be excited about it but i also want her to be happy about my pregnancy and that she is going to have two grandchildren.

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baileyxbee

Asked by baileyxbee at 7:47 AM on Jul. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • ALL YOU CAN DO IS TALK TO HER AND MAKE HER REALIZE HOW HAPPY YOU ARE. ULTIMATELY EVERY MOM IS LOOKING TO HAVE THEIR KIDS HAPPY, SHE WILL COME AROUND, COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY.
    older

    Answer by older at 7:57 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Older has a good answer. Talk with her. Tell her you are happy and looking forward to bringing the babies to come see her.
    Bmat

    Answer by Bmat at 8:01 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • My guess is that your mom had dreams for you that she now knows are not going to come true. She is no doubt very hurt and disappointed. It's also possible that your mom sees potential hidden obstacles in your way to which you are totally oblivious at this point in your life. Why don't you try to put yourself in her place and think about how you might feel if your 18-year old child up and moved far, far away without your approval. Then sit down with pencil and paper and write her a long letter acknowledging that you know you have hurt her and disappointed her. I would then ask her to forgive anything that I might have said or done that caused her pain. Then tell her about the babies and the potential marriage. I doubt that you can fully comprehend at this time of your life what your mom is feeling, but you can at least try. I think she will appreciate that you made the effort. I know that I would.
    NannyB.

    Answer by NannyB. at 9:20 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Try talking to her. Like another mom said your mom only wants you to be happy. Let her know how happy you are and how well you are doing. Tell her you'd love for her to come out when you have the babies. Those babies will be the thing that will bring your mom back into your life. A woman can't resist her grandkids!
    robinann5

    Answer by robinann5 at 9:25 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I like Nanny B's answer. Simply because its really putting yourself in her shoes to see how she might feel instead of just accusing her of being ureasonable. I know that I would be terribly disappointed and hurt if my teenager moved very far away from me with some boy and pushed me out of her life, regardless of what I did. Just contact her and make and effort to have a relationship with her. She birthed you, raised you and now shes feeling jilted a bit and somewhat betrayed. You cant make her be happy about your situation, but you can make an effort to have a realtionship with her. She will likely receive you. I dont know a mother that would reject her child for anything.
    momofsaee

    Answer by momofsaee at 10:03 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • It's all in how you say it. Be excited so she can be excited for you but allow a moment in there for shock! Twins is a real shock!
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:24 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Call her up and talk to her. If you are unsure of her reaction- then what about writing her a nice letter telling her your good news, and letting her know what you are feeling. Enclose your phone # and tell her you would love to hear from her.

    When my grandma had a falling out with the family and cut me out of her life, I wrote her a letter telling her how hurt I was and she called me days after getting it. I found out she loved me, and her cutting me out had nothing to do with us (her and I) at all. She was sorry she hurt me and still loved me, and we were able to get past it and move on.
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:30 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

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