Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How do I stop being so critical of my husband?

I am way too critical of him and the things he does. He is SO wonderful to me, and when I resolve myself to think of the positive when he is getting on my nerves, when that time actually comes, I cannot think of anything positive. I just feel frustrated and wind up going off on him for something very minor. I feel bad after and apologize, but I know it's driving us apart...how do I force myself to stop and think before I blow up over nothing? How do I force that warm loving feeling I get normally around him to come back while he is doing something that aggravates me? Any tips?

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:27 AM on Jul. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • I think you have anger management problems and you should see a professional before it hurts your marriage. I think everyone gets that way now and again but if this is a frequent thing I'd look into getting help
    MorriganzMommy

    Answer by MorriganzMommy at 10:32 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Think of the good things all the time. Set your mind up to think happy thoughts of him before the bad happens. You might even write them down when you are in a good frame of mind, so that when he irritates you, you can go back and read the list of the good things he does.! And keep a running list...write down the good things he does every day! So when something bad happens, you can look at that list and say, "Look at that, 12 wonderful things he did for me today, and only one irritant! He really is a great guy!"

    I truly hope this helps. It sounds like you have a great marriage, and I would hate to see it ruined. Build your husband up by thanking him every time he does something for you...and give him a kiss. He needs that. He needs to know you respect and cherish him.

    You are welcome to PM me if you want to talk or ask more questions. Hugs!!
    singnstitch

    Answer by singnstitch at 10:37 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Thank God my husband has been my friend for over 12 years and knows that I am impulsive and I don't think before I speak. Especially when I am aggitated. He knows to ignore me and let me vent, because I always 99% of the time come back apologizing. It is not hurting us one bit because he knows that I don't mean it. Don't get doped up on meds because of a doctor. Sit with your husband and explain your problem. And maybe try some AT HOME things like walking away when upset, or when you start to go off catch yourself and walk away. I am not cured, but I am not as bad as I used to be. And a lot of it is because my husband does not respond to me at all when I vent, so it dies very fast because I have no one to argue with. He just stands there with this look, like wtf did I do.
    suzyb1980

    Answer by suzyb1980 at 10:40 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • It sounds like you need to accept your husband for who he is. Everybody does things that annoy each other, but you learn to live with it and accept it. My husband does things that annoy me but I ignore it or make a joke out of it...I don't get mad, especially if it's something small. I love my husband and am thankful to be with him...don't ever take a great relationship for granted....if you truly love him, show him respect and love...and laugh off the little things because life is short.
    GinaPetty

    Answer by GinaPetty at 10:52 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • You need to adjust your expectations and get some anger management.

    beeky

    Answer by beeky at 10:55 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • When he's sharing his moment with you just focus on his eyes. Smile and think of his joy and share it without saying a word. Don't sweat the small stuff. Learn to not say anything if you can't say something good.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:01 AM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • i do the samething to my wondeful hubby but hes very understanding part of it for me is hormones and another part is b/c of my disease...he just either let me go off on him or he just walks away intill i calm down and then he'll come up to me and wrape his arms around me and say i love u no matter how u treat me and then i feel like shit y do i deserve such a wonderful man? i ask myself at least once a day my friends would die for someone like him and the r jealouse that a bitch like me ends up with someone like him luckley the mood swing have calmed down since leaving my ex but sometimes dh does things that bring a flashback and i snap....like i said i love him for treating my dd and me like queens and he loves me no matter what i do or say
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 12:10 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN