Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

what would be a good solution to this problem?

I have a "sperm donor" (he doesn't deserve the title of dad) who gets mad if he doesn't get to see his son, with me bringing him. Although the previous 2 months I have begged him to come and see him but it is not in his convenience to visit with his son so he doesn't come. I took my son to see his SD and the whole time he called him a girl cuz he was crying. Keep in mind my son is only 17 months old! He even went so far as to pull my sons hair which only made him cry more. I was so pissed when I left. We have never been to court for support or visitation requirements. I really need some input. I want to just drop his SD off the face of the Earth and out of our lives, but I'm worried about my son and how it will effect him. What would anyone do in this situation?

Answer Question

Asked by reesepieces214 at 12:13 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (8)
  • fuck that guy. find him an awesome stepdad.

    Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 12:20 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • it would effect your son, so you need to think about that

    your sone would not have his hair pulled
    he would not be yelled at for crying
    he would not have whatever this @ss does in the future

    Answer by boredmom44 at 12:32 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Your son will probably be better off without him. When he is old enough to ask questions, tell him the truth. Until then let him enjoy his life without this loser around. He's not getting any fulfillment out of these visits.

    Answer by beckcorc at 12:56 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Hair pulling and calling him names is abusive behavior. Write down the dates and times that these incidents occured in case this ever goes to court. And then don't allow him to have contact with this man until a) he changes his ways or b) your child gets older and wants to see his dad. If b happens before a, make sure visits are supervised.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:57 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I feel you and your son would better off without him. Just stop all contact, if he really wants to be a father let him go to court and get visitation rights and pay child support.

    Answer by robinann5 at 1:09 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Fortunately, at this age, he won't have any remembrance of this man. If you can manage to cut him out now, then he will never have to suffer the man that abused him or didn't care enough to be involved. He will ask about his dad, and you can have him believe something wonderful, you can tell him the truth in time, you can explain that his dad needed to do some things for himself before he could really give himself to a child, whatever you decide to do. I have a friend, age 31, that to this day has never met her father. He supposedly died before she was born, but I know better. He was a waste of space and refused to believe the child was his, and refused to acknowledge custody. So she simply believes he died.

    Answer by Mom1Stepmom1 at 3:41 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Seeing his dad is affecting him now. Why would you continue to subject your child to a father that is making him cry, calling him names and pulling his hair to make him cry more? My son has rarely seen his father and my son is better off for it. A child doesn't need both parents to be ok, he needs positive role models to show him what a good man is like.You also need to go to court for child support, unless you can support your child all on your own. You need to document everything that happens; dates, times and what happened. You also do NOT have to cater to sperm donors wants. If he wants to see your son, he can come to your house too. Do not keep running to him, he won't do anything else otherwise. Write down when you offer visits and what he says and does. Document every little thing.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 6:32 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • thanks moms! i really needed your opinions. i have him blocked from calling my phone and no longer want any contact with him.

    Answer by reesepieces214 at 11:28 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.