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My daughter is 38, college grad, great job and got into trouble last year and is currently in jail awaiting a bed in rehab. Should I take my granddaughters to visit?

It could take up to 7 months before they can see her.

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Asked by Anonymous at 12:29 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • You should! It will be good for both of them! It will really lift your daughters spirts, and show her the reason to get better!!! As for the children it will give them a chance to say they love her and will see her soon!

    Answer by mrsmamaj at 12:35 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I can only give you advice based on my experience. In most circumstances, I'd say yes. I am a foster parent and I've seen how damaging it can be for children to be seperated from their parents...for most kids. Some kids, it was damaging FOR them to see their parents, but not usually. If the child still wants to see their mother and the mother wants to see her child, and you can ensure the child's safety, it's probably for the best.

    Answer by MomP31 at 12:38 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Definitely take them to see her. I dont know the circumstances of why shes in jail... but based on the rehab Id say it was drug/alcohol related. But from my experiences, Id say she was stressed and needed something to make her release her stress. SHe just unfortunately chose something that wasnt so good. Like I said, I dont know what actually happened. But if she was good and everythign before the incident, dont punish her by not letting her see the kids. Its bad enough she got in the situation in the first place. Best of luck in whatever you choose.

    Answer by AustinsMommy124 at 12:49 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • If they are old enough to have an opinion, ask them. Find out what the protocol for visits is and explain to them what the visit would be like and ask them if they want to go see their mom or wait until she gets out. I agree with the PP who is a foster mom that most times it is better for the children to maintain contact with their mom, especially if she will likely be resuming custody when she is released. It's better to keep that relationship alive than to start over from square one when she gets out.

    Answer by riotgrrl at 12:49 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • ask them both what they want

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:57 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I think you probaly should, I'm sure the kids are missing their mom, and if they are little, they may think she is just "gone". I know this is a hard spot for you to be in, with all the decisions you have to make. Making the decision whether or not to take your grandkids to a place like that, but if the mother says she wants you to bring them, then I think you should.

    Answer by robinann5 at 12:59 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • why wouldn't you? where are the granddaughters now?

    Answer by LadyAronna at 1:06 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • This should be something you , your daughter and the kids discuss. I know a lot of women who didn't want thier kids to see them in jail and waited until it was time to come home to see thier children.

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:58 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

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