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how long should i wait.. ?

Me and my boyfriend.. (love him to death.. he and our children are my everything) we have been together for 8 years.. we live and love together and have been living together for 1 year and he shows no signs of proposing to me.. he says in 2 years we will be married.. but i don't really believe him.. his parents were together for about 20 or 25 years before getting married.. so he doesn't think its a big deal to wait..

 
MoMMy2TwiNs07

Asked by MoMMy2TwiNs07 at 1:59 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in Relationships

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This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Candidly discuss marriage with him from an objective point of view. Don't get all emotional. Speak your piece and listen to what he has to say. Let it be a discussion, not a lecture.

    Also, ask yourself this: What will marriage change for us?

    Do you want marriage for the title?

    How can people say you are not committed when you have been together for eight years? If anything, I think staying together for eight years without legal binding shows commitment.

    When you talk to him, keep in mind that some people see marriage as an eventual destination, not an immediate destination.

    Ask him what he's waiting for, and what he wants to accomplish before he gets married. Ask him if he has any fears about marriage.
    Mousuke

    Answer by Mousuke at 3:11 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Talk to him and explain the importance of marriage is to you and you don't want to wait. Open the lines of communication, you don't seem to be talking about this.
    MorriganzMommy

    Answer by MorriganzMommy at 2:02 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Definitely need to discuss it. Explain your feelings. Or you could propose to him and see what happens.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 2:36 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • you have given him all that a marriage would entail so what is his incentive to get married?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:47 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I know you know the old saying, "why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free." You've given him everything that a marriage entails without papers so why should he marry you? How would he benefit if he married you? As long as he has you believing that he'll propose to you, he'll continue having you live in his fantasy world and you'll continue to please him just so he can propose...GL
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:53 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • You have waited a little too long and so there is no urgency to marry you. You have children and are keeping house together so he probably feels like you are already married. You've been with him for 8 years and although I am not a therapist and would never claim to know everything there is about relationships, I do know that sometimes people need to know where you stand seriously in order for them to sit up and take notice. Don't waste your time with him if he is not willing to make you his wife. Life is short and it is only right that he MAN UP and make the right decision

    misscindy726

    Answer by misscindy726 at 4:14 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • thanks ladies.. all great advice.. and opinions..
    MoMMy2TwiNs07

    Answer by MoMMy2TwiNs07 at 10:42 AM on Jul. 22, 2009