Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

need reality check....

ok so im 16 an i am 28wks pregnant i was with the bbys daddy for bout 3 yrs he was physically an verbally abusive an cheated over 50 times an so i left an got my life on track i work an go to school an pay my own way but now he has recently started calling an swearing his old ways are done he does not beleive i am pregnant which i guess dnt matter but since i have left my ma has made it clear he is not to be in my life or my childs i am unsure what to do i do love him but i am unsure if he has indeed changed an i wanna do nothing to risk or harm my child in anyway wat should i do let him go on beleiving there is no child or give him a chance again i need brutal honesty plzzz

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 2:55 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (15)
  • Forget about him and focus on school and your baby. He sounds like a doushe bag. He doesn't sound like a father to me. You seem to have some sense and know right from wrong. You don't need any extra stress especially while your preggo. Take care of yourself and do what you need to do to make sure you and your baby are okay. Your baby will thank you! Good luck!
    Mommy0425

    Answer by Mommy0425 at 11:08 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • huh???????? Stay in school!!!!!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:58 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • that has nothing to do with my ? i am already in school!!!!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:00 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Ok here it is. If you go back to him you are not smart. You have a child to think about now you don't really matter anymore. I know you love him but he has not changed. Most abusers only tell you that to get you back and do it al over again to you. Your doing great without him keep doing what your doing and just completely forget about him! Have no contact its the only way you and your child will be safe. Good Luck hun.
    SMarsolf

    Answer by SMarsolf at 3:01 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I don't think lying to him about you not being pregnant is a good way to go about it at all. Let him believe what he wants, but don't start a relationship with him. Once a cheater/loser/abuser always a cheater/loser/abuser! Good luck to you.
    mamaada

    Answer by mamaada at 3:02 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • don't go back to him, he will hurt you and a baby, you got your life on track keep it that way, cuz with him it will be bad news, listen to your mom, they are usually right, good luck stay in school be strong and keep your head up high and just stay oway from him, thats just my opinion
    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 3:02 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • thank u SMarsolf i needed that it was gd advice!!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:03 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • thanks mamaada an looovemybabies i appreciate all the advice i can get
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • call a domestic violence shelter for some counseling if you feel like you will weaken and go back. Abusers don't change. If you go back now he could harm or even kill the baby. I was with an abuser and my biggest fear was that he'd hurt the baby while I was pregnant. He vowed to throw me down the stairs at my mom's house so I always stayed away from the stairs when he was there. Fear affects the baby. The baby doesn't need stress. Loving him isn't a bad thing but sometimes we need to rise above our personal feelings for the baby. Safety first. So no I wouldn't even talk to him much less tell him about the baby. You can't keep him out of the child's life once the baby is born and he proves that it's his. Unfortunately he does have rights but until such time that you have to let him know what's up, steer clear of him. Please stay safe.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 3:27 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • If he hasent had counseling he is not changed, he might WANT to change but he cant do it on his own. If I were you I would focus on my baby and myself. You can still get child support from him, you will just have to do a paternity test. Do you think myabe he is saying he dosent believe you are pregnant because he wants to see you? Be very careful, I think you should get into counseling and maybe read the book I just read. It is called Boundaries and it explains a bunch of the abusive stuff and how to deal with people who are or have abused you. Its really good.
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 3:58 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN