Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

please help im going crazy!

omg i dont know what to do. i mean i love my kids but its kind of like they are holding me back right now. i want to leave their father but dont have no where to go really cuz if i move out i kinda lose my job and i know he wont move out but also i hate to not have a perfect mommy/ daddy household for my children. both myself and daddy grew up with a parent missing and we wont leave our children but i dont want to live with him either... what to do? what to do? anybody went thru this before? i need jesus lol

Answer Question
 
lydiamama

Asked by lydiamama at 3:13 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (3 Credits)
Answers (6)
  • I love my kids to death but I left their father since it was just getting worse and not getting better. It was the best thing I could have ever done.
    Michele068

    Answer by Michele068 at 3:15 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • First, to stay together for the sake of a child (or children) is not the right thing to do. I was with my oldest daughter's father for a lot longer than I should have. I don't know the extent of your relationship-but him and I fought all the time and it was unhealthy for everybody involved.

    I do think that most relationships can be repaired...and that there are NO perfect relationships. What you need to do is sit down with their father and figure out what you both want. And if you want things to work out, then you should look into talking to somebody (both of you).

    And everybody needs Jesus!! :)
    LaceyAM

    Answer by LaceyAM at 3:17 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Is there anywhere close by that one of you could buy a house or rent an apartment. So one of you are still close to the children. and he can see them anytime he wants.That way you don
    t have to leave your job.
    incarnita

    Answer by incarnita at 3:21 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • jesus is busy right now but he'll be here asap so you have us until then. Can you just work with big daddy and make things be better until you can get your act together (new job, place to go, etc)? I had to do that and planning the move took some of the pressure off the relationship and we got along a lot better before I ended up actually moving out. We didn't fight as much bc I was busy with planning. So you can still be a good mom, he can be a good dad and you can work toward a better future so it's a win win situation. Ok, Jesus is here now. See what he says.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:22 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I dont know girl..i say hang on till u find a place to stay w/ur children. I mean unless this guy is a monster. If thats the case..run and dont look back! My mom divorced my dad..w/three cuz she wasnt happy. At times i get mad at her..cuz i wish i had my dad in my life. But from what she says..it wasnt a happy home. Maybe they got shelters near where u live? I know this girl who still stays w/her loser livein boyfriend cause she too came from a divorce. I dont know..id rather be alone w/my children and be happy then stick w/a loser who makes life miseable for me and my kiddos. Know what i mean? Have you spoken to ur husband? Maybe the two of u could come to somekind of understanding in the best interest of the children! Power to you girl!! :)
    roxxxy

    Answer by roxxxy at 3:38 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I have been divorced and let me tellyou that if at all possible you should try to work it out. I dont know what is going on in your marriage but if it is abusive you need to get out as fast as you can. I have been having a very tough time in my marriage lately and I have been trying very hard to make it work, he has been trying too. I have just finished a book called Boundaries and it was GREAT! Helps break the cycle and explain what is going on. We are also going to a greta counselor. You do need Jesus and prayer really works! For e divorce is not even an option I want to work it out, it is really really hard but I know we all have tough times in marriage. Right now we are seperated because of emotional abuse. He needed to see what he was doing to us.
    stickyfingers

    Answer by stickyfingers at 3:47 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.
close Cafemom Join now to connect to other members! Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN