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Two different parenting styles?

Discipline: My husband believes in counting to three and then giving a pat on the bottom, but I do time outs. This has to be confusing to our little one. Does anyone else have the same problem? I just can't seem to coax my husband into doing time outs.

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Asked by cafemommy123 at 6:11 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

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Answers (7)
  • i think depending on the age of the child is what should be used. if he is younger then 5 then i would use time out but as they get older time out isnt gonna work out that well or being punished. i would then you the one two three system. My mom would give me a choice when i 7 and up either get punished and not go any where no phone tv or computer or i could take a spanking. i would take a spanking then if i did it again i got both.

    Answer by ggiovanni at 6:20 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • So why can't you do it his way? Why does it have to be your way?

    Talk to him and find a compromise.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:49 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • maybe she doesnt want to beat her child anon 6:49

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:09 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • We both talked about our form of disclipline before having children and count to three, then swat the butt!
    I would not coax him into just doing it your way, maybe you could both try doing both ways of disclipline. Maybe for dangerous activities, swat on the butt. For mild mishaps a timeout? Joining together would help your toddler and your marriage IMO (and no, I am not implieing your marriage is in trouble! it just helps to get along better with compromising from my experience!)
    Talk with him, maybe there is another form of disclipline you both haven't done but at willing to try? GL

    Answer by 07lilmama1108 at 7:40 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • time outs help the kid take a moment relixe what happened or just wind down i usually don't spank and yell at jack when he looses it but the time outs do wonders and sometime a swat is necessary ... compromise ask your pediatrician my honey swears by what he says

    Answer by mirit.rose at 8:07 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Do your research. Find the information. Then present it to him at a time when he is willing to listen. Not in the middle of an incident. Explain your concerns, just like you did to us, "he is getting confused". Then ACCEPT that you may need to compromise some. Discuss and come up with a solution that you can both agree on. When we decided not to spank, I got all the information, laid it out on the table and we discussed. We agreed, after compromising, that AFTER 4 yrs. old that if the child has been warned about something dangerous, that they could recieve a spanking, but NOT before 4 yrs. old.

    Answer by Petie at 9:22 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • i have a similar problem with my mother. i belive a small pat on the butt, or in serious cases (such as electrical outlets, even covered ones) a smack on the hand and a firm and louder NO! does wonders. My mother, who never hit me (til i got to be a b*tchy teenager) belives i shouldn't hit or yell (although she yelled a lot as far as i can remember) at a toddler. she makes it difficult to be around sometimes when she yells at me (im only 20 so to her im not an adult per say) when i yell at my daughter!! with my S.O. he belives in 'beatings' like he got as a child but to a lesser extent. He was raised very strict while as i said ealier i was not. i belive in small pats but not picking out your own stick at ten. so our compromising hasn't started yet, but hopefully you can help me later :)

    Answer by smilelovesmile at 7:16 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

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