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what to do with a friend who comes to my house and imposes her rules

i have a son who is a sensory seeker. consequently, i let the kids jump on beds, do handstands in the halls, dive into bean bags, etc. it is not that i want my children to be wild animals, i just know that my little guy needs that kind of sensory stimulation. one of my great friends has two girls, is very proper and basically makes this enormous deal every time they come over that my kids can jump on the furniture, but they can't even in our home because she doesn't believe in jumping on furniture. it makes me feel really awkward and uncomfortable letting my kids follow my rules -- when we're at her house, i'm really good about following her rules. is it too much to ask her to relax and follow our rules at our house? any advice?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:04 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (5)
  • your house, your rules, end of discussion. Kids need to be kids. They will be proper young adults in time but for now KIDS RULE!!!! Let them have fun and tell her to lighten up
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 7:07 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • You could say something like, lighten up, it doesnt bother me I want them to have fun...

    and she may still want them to not jump on the furniture. if she doesnt want her girls doing that, just because its allowed in ur house doesnt mean she needs to have her kids do it, she probably doesnt want that to continue at her house so she doesnt let it happen ever.

    now respecting her rules may be diff. obviosly she doesnt like jumping on furniture for a reason. if ur kids started doing it at her house, she'd probably not have u over again in fear that her stuff will get ruined.
    Dom123123

    Answer by Dom123123 at 7:12 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Personally, I expect my kids to follow our families rules at someone else's house, plus any the other family may have. I may make some exeptions, but I would think it would be confusing when they are young to not allow it at home but allow it somewhere else. Do her girls complain about not being able to jump and run like your boys? This may just be a case of you being uncomfortable with it and not your friend!! Maybe you can talk to her and see if there is one area or two that she would be willing to make an exception. Then you could let your boys know you can slam into the bean bags with the girls, but let's try not to jump on the beds since they are not allowed. (Or something like that).
    micheledo

    Answer by micheledo at 7:17 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Well I would sit her down and talk to her about it. Let her know that it is ok for the kids to jump and have fun, you do not mind. She may be afraid her kids might destroy something. Or she may just be one of those parents who feels the kids need to have consistant rules (at home and at others houses) and one rule is no jumping period. Maybe since you know furniture jumping is a no-no for her kids and you feel a bit weird letting your kids do it while hers can't, then why not provide something they can all jump on or play with that she would be comfortable with? ( like maybe a ball pit?).
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 10:37 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Your house, your rules. Tell her that and if she doesn't like it, she doesn't have to bring her perfect kids over. Plain and simple, it is your house, NOT hers.
    tyfry7496

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 1:04 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

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