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Keeping my thoughts MINE... how?

My fiance lives with me. And I mean HE'S WITH ME ALL OF THE TIME! I work at home, and he doesn't work. So I'm here. He's here. "Us" every. single. freaking. second.

I don't mind being around him actually. I love it. But yeah, we have our issues.

He has his mom he can talk to, his friends he talks to.

Me? I have nobody to talk to when we have problems. He fights back if I bring ANYTHING up, feeling attacked I guess. The one friend I did talk to, recently lost her baby an hour after she had it. She won't talk to me.

I need to write a journal, but he's always there. And even told me, if I had one he'd read it.

Where do I hide it? And how can I keep it a secret from him? No matter what I say, he'll read it one way or another.

It needs to be hand-written. Idk why, but that's how I need to do it.


Answer Question

Asked by VonWiggles at 7:33 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 1 (0 Credits)
Answers (7)
  • Hmmm... are you sure he isn't a tad bit too controlling? It would make me very uncomfortable if my SO told me he would read my journal no matter what I said. He sounds very insecure at the least. But to answer your question try writing it in code then it won't matter if he finds it.

    Answer by Tawanda74 at 7:37 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • It sounds like you need some space! Get him a job.

    Answer by smarshy at 7:45 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • No offense, but he sounds like a loser! Why don't he have a life n a JOB. Being that up your butt & controlling could be a sign of an abusive relationship. Ive been in close relationships, but they always gave me my space & privacy if I needed it.

    Answer by Anonymous at 8:18 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Ick. I can't imagine being under that kind of surveillance. He's your fiance??? Now is the time to draw some boundaries or his nosy, suspicious, controlling behavior will get worse.

    Answer by MichiMomma at 9:15 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • When my grandson was incarcerated he went through some horrible things and being so young and not being from a criminal background he was in a cultural shock situation. I told him to write a journal. He didn't want guards finding it and reading it so I had him mail his entries to my house. I never opened them but saved them for him for when he got out. Would your mom or friend allow you to do that?

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:15 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Sounds like he doesnt really want you to have anything for yourself, this is hard... But you deserve to have at least a JOURNAL that you can have to yourself. I would really look at your options. How old are you and him? You are just as much as he is, Just try to think clearly. A person said to me once that my reality was twisted because I wasnt fighting for myself, and that hit me hard!!! You are you, and you are a part of the"US" but ultimately....... You are you, and the only one who will ever fight for you, and if he cant respect that... then maybe it is time to move on. Life is hard enough with kids, and being a wife, a friend, and friend,! Take time for yourself, you have instiincs.. follow them.. for godsake... you posted the question!!! Good luck Girl!!

    Answer by jennieo622 at 10:50 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I don't have a answer for you I just wanted to let you know that you're not alone my husband does it to me all the time and he does have a job yet he still manages to keep track of everything I do from where I go to who I talk to. If you want to talk or just vent message me at any time.

    Answer by countrygirl06 at 12:06 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

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