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When your kids are out in the pool do you supervise them closely?

My s.o and i have a major disagreement. We have three little ones together. they are twins 5 and a daughter 4. I don't let them out of my sight except maybe to run in and grab a drink but the kitchen is right off the patio near the pool where i can still see them.

he says they don't need to be supervised, "kids their age don't drown in pools that small"'s almost 3 ft deep by 12 ft wide. I told him a kid could drown in 2 inches of water(usually that is a baby/toddler..but still). Would you allow kids that young to be unsupervised? He says i'm being overprotective, i think i'm just being responsible. We've had so many drownings this summer, seven so far to be exact that I couldn't live with myself if something happened to my kids.

I'd just like some links or statistics or personal experience about this. If I am overreacting let me know too. :)



Asked by CinderAmethyst at 8:58 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (10)
  • ANd, this is why...please show this answer to your husband. I don't know if your children have had swimming lessons but, 3 years ago when my son was 3, we lived on a cul da sac near a huge pond. We would go down there to feed the ducks. It had rained and the water was over flowing. I let my son wade but told him to stay away from the slope. I turned to reach for his shoes. I had told him to sit down and stay seated. While I was getting his shoes, he jumped in and next thing I heard was Mommie help. You better believe I jumped in after my son. He was just beginning to learn how to swim and thought that since he was learning that he was already a good swimmer. It only takes a few seconds. His shoes where not that far from me. Oh and he wanted to go swimming and had asked. I told him it's a pond. We don't swim in ponds. Children will make up their minds to do things. Yes, I watch like a hawk.

    Answer by Safirejewl at 9:09 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Honey, you are not over-reacting. Girl keep up the good work. Tell you hubby he needs to thank you. I'm an overprotective mom...and proud of it. I take my kid swimming at the Civic Center and I watch him like a hawk. He's had swimming lessons, but, I won't let him out of my site. You go girl. I'm on your side.

    Answer by Safirejewl at 9:01 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Well, we've had a 4 ft pool since my kids were very small. I supervised them closely until they could swim doggy paddle AND touch the bottom. I think they were about 5 or 6. After t hat, I'd just peek out every so often. And I had a rule about no fighting in the pool. If there were any squabbles, they all came out!! Now that they are 10 (almost 11) and 12, I only supervise with my ears!

    Answer by drowninginboys at 9:02 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • You are not over-reacting. Things happen so quickly, I wouldn't leave them in the pool either. My oldest is 2 1/2 and I am trying to decide how old he should be for me not to watch him play in the tub!

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:03 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • At that age probably not more then a couple minutes with the door open so I could hear them. My 3yo can't get in the water without an adult out in the yard but my older kids swim without an adult. They are 6, 7 and 9 and can all touch the bottom (it's a 4' pool). We started last year with the older two when they were 6 and 8 and only if the back door was wide open so we could hear them and I would watch from the kitchen. As they have shown I can trust them to not do dangerous stuff and to keep an eye on each other they have gotten more freedoms. Now they just ask if they can go in and they are off. I check on them every 20 minutes or so.

    Answer by justanotherjen at 9:06 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • yes you are right, watch them in the pool, if you dont want to watch them, turn on a movie, they could run, fall, hit their heads, they could play too rough, there are just too many ways it happens.

    Answer by AmaliaD at 9:48 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • You tell him this. On july 5th my 67 yr old father, healthy as a horse was found floating face down in his built in pool...they were unable to revive him. I cannot even begin to tell you how devestated I am. It has been two weeks and change since I lost him. We will never know what really happened. His wife was in making them lunch when she heard a neighbor scream. She looked out and two neighbors where dragging him out of the pool. The coroner said his heart looked good, no stroke, no blood clot...we will always wonder. NEVER EVER EVER be in the water alone! I don't care if you are 2 or 102 it is NEVER EVER safe. If only I could have him back. Ask him if he wants to be having this conversation about one of his kids! I will never be the same.

    Answer by salexander at 10:34 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • At there age they still need to be supervised, in a small pool like that most likely nothing will ever happen but better to be safe then sorry. My in-laws have the same kind of pool and mine were supervised until my youngest was 7 then I went from being outside with them to checking on them every 20 minutes but I could hear them the whole time.

    Answer by sammiesmom2000 at 1:35 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Thank you ladies for your advice! salexander I am so sorry to hear about your father, that is so awful and so sad but I thank you for sharing your story as hard as it may have been to post it.

    I think i'd rather be the "overprotective mother" in this instance vs. the "that would never happen to my kid" kind of parent which he seems to be. he keeps insisting he wouldn't allow anything bad to happen to the kids, but in my opinion, not watching them is an invitation for that to happen -at their ages. Just before I posted this question, my daughter got knocked in the head by her brother because he jumped up and into the pool and wasn't paying attention. What my SO fails to realize is that they are not at an age where they are very observant or responsible yet.

    Answer by CinderAmethyst at 1:56 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • My daughter is 7 and I still do not leave her side when she's in the pool. No you are just being a good parent.

    Answer by SalemWitchChild at 6:10 AM on Jul. 22, 2009