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Is He Cheating, No Longer Sexually Attracted, or Just Gay?

My SO and I had a baby three months old, and let's face it, our sexual relationship has taken a backseat....but hasn't really suffered...until recently...when he stopped touching me almost completely. I saw his computer sitting next to the coffee table, open, and noticed that an orange light was flashing, so I clicked the mouse and a screen popped up that said "low battery", and displayed what he was last looking at...which was PORN...NINETEEN videos saved on his computer to be exact. The videos mainly consisted of insertion shots (male penis in to the female vagina), and girls giving guys BJ's, as well as men ejaculating on their female partner's rear end. I have no idea what to do or even how to react to this situation other than to be disgusted. I was not raised to do this kind of thing and finding that in my home grosses me out. What would you do if this happened to you? What should I do?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 9:12 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (22)
  • Ask him what's it's about!

    Answer by psugal at 9:13 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I did, and he claims his computer has a "virus".

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Confront him and then explain to him that it bothers you and you find it disgusting and deplorable...he may get defensive, but do you want your child growing up seeing that type of thing?

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 9:14 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • ummmm....BULL SHIT. He is the one that has the "virus" and it needs to be eliminated. That is so lame that he used that excuse. That would infuriate me even more. RAWR

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 9:16 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • virus ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
    sorry i shouldnt laugh bt men come up with some dumb answers
    whish i could help
    good luck

    Answer by mommymeg03 at 9:17 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • No way does his computer have a virus - he was caught looking at porn and came up with a stupid excuse. He may have only been looking at one site though and then several started spamming him with pop-up windows (My DH and I were looking one night then got totally bombarded and never did that again!)

    Answer by psugal at 9:18 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • It pissed me off too! Seriously, does he think I'm so stupid that I don't know how to operate a computer? It just frustrates me mainly because, if he's not attracted to me anymore, why doesn't he just say so, instead of "sneaking" behind my back, and then leaving it out in the open for me to find? Oh, and to top it off, when I confronted him about it, he said it was MY FAULT that I didn't trust him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • WTH?????? How in the world is it YOUR fault that you found porn all over his computer and are completely disgusted and confused by it? He is trying to redirect the blame because he know he was in the wrong and don't want to be held accountable for it. He wants to take the focus off himself and put it on you so you will back down...don't let it work. The first sign that he is doing something he shouldn't be is the fact that he is defensive. Tell him to grow up and to be a man and accept responsibility.

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 9:24 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I can def understand why it would upset you if he isn't being intimate with you.... the thing I think missing in a lot of relationships is communication so I advise you to sit him down and in a non confrontational manner ask him about it, tell him how you feel about not getting any and finding the porn. See if you can't find some sort of common grounds in the whole situation i.e maybe he thinks you don't want it either and is just looking for some release.

    Answer by 09momma at 9:25 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • *and doesn't want to be held accountable*....sorry, I was typing too fast and not paying attention to what I was saying...LOL

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 9:25 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

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