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What do you do to make life more "fair"?

I feel like all I do is work and take care of kids. He does watch them too, but only like a few hours a day while I get 8-10 hours a day plus work. We are both working full-time. On his days off, he goes to concerts or band practice while I watch the kids. On my days off, he says for me to go out and he'll watch them, but he always has to be to work at 10pm and my friends all live an hour away. Most of them aren't off til about 5pm. So, even if I drive up and meet them at work right when they get off, I end up having to head home 3 hours later. Don't get me wrong, I do love my kids and I really do love being with them, I just want some adult time, you know?

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sparrowprincess

Asked by sparrowprincess at 9:34 PM on Jul. 21, 2009 in Relationships

Level 3 (20 Credits)
Answers (10)
  • Yes, you deserve a break. Can you hire a sitter from 10pm till midnight?
    jeanclaudia

    Answer by jeanclaudia at 9:37 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • Mom's need a break too. I feel like I'm a much better mother when I have some adult time. I think the only solution is what jeanclaudia said, find a sitter. Don't feel bad about the extra expense, you deserve you're alone time!! Have fun!
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:40 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • This will sound stupid, but I hadn't even thought of that. I've never had them babysat by anyone outside the family, but that's a really good idea. Maybe they could even just go stay the night with Grandma on my next day off. Wow, that really was simple. Shows how flustered I am right now, huh?
    sparrowprincess

    Answer by sparrowprincess at 9:40 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • My kids and I have a rare genetic immune deficiency disease. They had to spend lots of time at a major children's hospital as they were growing up. The chances of surviving 20 years after diagnosis even with great medical care for 20 years is only 64%. I'm 52 and they are 29, 24, and 21. I'm one of the oldest survivers there is.

    The disease is so rare they were the only one at the Indianapolis children's hospital with it and the first diagnosed in Indiana. There was no special clinic area for them to be treated and we had to go to the cancer clinic, for years. There they picked up the philosophy - Life sucks and then you die.

    If you know you could get sick and die tomorrow you have a different outlook on life. You could go to work and your mother could die while you are gone. Or while you are on a date one of your family members could get sick and everyone is at the ER.

    This story is to put life in perspective.
    GailllAZ

    Answer by GailllAZ at 9:45 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • It sounds pretty good. I never get 3 hrs alone, ever. LOL. Maybe paying a sitter is a good idea. You have a good man to watch them that much.
    KARRIEMARIE

    Answer by KARRIEMARIE at 9:46 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • meet friends half way
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:48 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • get a baby sitter and go out with your hubby. I have twins and I never had adult time we did family stuff. My kids are 27- now and still are close to us and have great family memories. We took them to concerts when they turn 15 and all their friends where jealous.
    The problem is now young couples want to feel free and do what they did before they had kids. Things change and it can be for better or worse. It depends on your priorities.
    P.S 3-hours is better than nothing.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 9:52 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • My oldest is also 27, and the others are 17 & 19. Like gammie, we didn't get much "adult time". I personally think adult time is a really good thing....unless you are selfish about it of course. But an occasional Mom's night out can help you relax so much, and an occasional couples night is so good for a marriage. Obviously, it's important to put your kids first, but it doesn't sound like you plan on neglecting them.

    Get a sitter every now and then and have some fun.....and from 10 to midnight the kids should be in bed anyway, so who is it hurting???
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:05 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • i feel ya im in the same situtation im thankful for my dad (grandpa) he would take my kids at least twice a month over night thats something at least.
    kmanivanh1983

    Answer by kmanivanh1983 at 11:56 PM on Jul. 21, 2009

  • I guess I'm missing the picture here, because there's women here that wish they has someone to watch the kids for an hour and here it is your husband is saying go and have fun but you're complaining that you can't stay out past a certain hour...wow!!! Good luck
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 11:40 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

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