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Should I have a fourth child?

We am really thinking about having a fourth child. We already have three boys, ages 7, 5 1/2 and 3. Figure by the time a baby comes the youngest would be 4. My biggest dilema right now...is this too much of an age gap? My first two are only 16 months apart and they are really close. Then the third boy about 2 1/2 years later, and right now he gets left out by his big brothers. I am worried that if I had another (boy especially) he would be really left out by his bros, as he would be 8 years younger than my oldest and 4 years younger than my youngest. AUGH! Am I thinking too much??? Stressing about nothing???

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sassy34

Asked by sassy34 at 12:02 AM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (7)
  • Yes. I think I should have had a fourth. There is something to even numbers.
    SusieD250

    Answer by SusieD250 at 12:04 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I have 3 boys who are all about 4 years apart. It is a big gap, but it's worked really well for us. My oldest is 11, my youngest is 3 and my middle will be 7 in Oct. Yeah, there are differences in interests, but they can and do get along and play together really well.
    canadianmom1974

    Answer by canadianmom1974 at 12:06 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I have three and have no problems with my kids ages and their closeness - oldest was 3 1/2yo when second born, oldest was 8 yo and second was 4 1/2 yo when my youngest was born. I have one son and two daughters. My husband has four brothers and I have one brother.

    We emphasized really hard from about three yo for each child the importance of time for themselves with their own friends or peers in fun classes or preschool away from their siblings. That cut down on competition between them. Plus we really emphasized on our own likes being shared. But had to work hard to bring it all into play. Good luck with your decision whatever it is.


    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:14 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Why do you want a fourth child?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Yes, you're over-thinking! **grin**

    The closest sibs I've ever known were born a decade apart. The ones closest in age...hated each other's guts and don't speak as adults.

    The age gap wasn't what mattered...it was how the parents raised them.
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:43 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • It all depends on the kids. Me and my brother are 19 months apart and didn't get along at all when we were younger but my best friend and her brother are 4 years apart and were always close. The biggest thing is me and my brother had completely different intrests and my friend and her brother were a lot alike. I'm pregnant with my second and my daughter is 4 1/2 I'm not worried tho at all. If you want a 4th I say go for it. Good Luck
    jazzysmommy1004

    Answer by jazzysmommy1004 at 1:02 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • i am the youngest of three and there are 6 years between my brother and i and 8 years between my sister and i. frankly, i am the luckiest person in the world for that age gap. i got all the benefits from being an only child AND the benefits from having siblings. not to mention my siblings totally had my back and when other kids punk older siblings would stand up against me MY siblings could threaten to run them over with their car. it was awesome. not to mention, seriously stress-free for my parents because they talked it over with my sibs and as a family of four agreed on having me so my sis and bro WANTED to watch and take care of me. and now i have a wide range of people to talk to that have gone through what i am getting to. it is awesome. don't fret about age! go for it--good lucks (omg, if you have a girl, i bet she'd be SO spoiled)
    spazlilsister

    Answer by spazlilsister at 1:14 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

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