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how to deal with everyones advice?

I have a 3 month old baby boy. we all have our own ways of raising babies. I dont believe in letting him cry so i go to comfort him when he does im also breastfeeding him and am co sleeping because of it. However my husband and his side of the family are very negative and they think im doing things the wrong way. His mother believes i should let him cry i shouldnt be breastfeeding anymore he should be in his own bed and tells me i hold him to much. REALLY it drives me nuts how do i say something with out sounding rude?

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Jaxsmommy09

Asked by Jaxsmommy09 at 12:49 AM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Babies (0-12 months)

Level 16 (2,370 Credits)
Answers (11)
  • It is past the point of not being rude. These people have obviously not got the point that it is YOUR baby and you will raise him as you see fit. I would just start telling them that you are doing fine and don't appreciate any advice about parenting. You can say that you are extremely well read on the subject and are making fully informed decisions. Thank you very much.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:52 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Sometimes when it comes to your child a terse remark is needed. Simply say, I appreciate where you are coming from. I have done my own research and I am raising MY child the way I think is best. The same way you raised YOUR child the way you thought was best. Follow your gut and let them wag their tongues.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 12:52 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • You can try educating them on breastfeeding...the 101 reasons to breastfeed on promom.org will help.

    But bottom line? YOU ARE THE MOMMY. Hubby can get with the program...or I have availability at the Stupid Husband Hilton, aka my backyard gazebo. My hubby is going to run a seminar on Why The Wife Is Always Right. **grin**
    gdiamante

    Answer by gdiamante at 12:56 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • There isn't a way.sorry. The only thing you can do is tell her as nicely as possible that she raised her children and that this one is yours. Whatever mistakes you make are yours to make and learn from. Co-sharing of the bed... I kind of agree with the mil on that one. A crib in your room would be more beneficial to all three of you, as I am pretty sure not one of you is getting the right kind and enough sleep. Having baby in bed with you is convenient but nerve racking if you should turn over on him in your sleep. It's dangerous for the baby and takes away from you and hubby cuddling at night.

    BooBear666

    Answer by BooBear666 at 12:57 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • My MIL was the worst I've ever seen. She insisted that I name my son Brock Colon. No seriously! She threw a tantrum daily for six months because she didn't like the name we had selected. She threw a fit because we painted his bedroom yellow and not blue which she wanted. She screamed at the top of her lungs in a parking lot because we bought a pack of Pampers Swaddlers and not Huggies. I mean seriously the worst ever. Finally I decided if she was going to act like a child I'd give her a taste of her own medicine. I said "if you don't like you aren't invited to see him anymore." She shut that crap up real quick. Be rude. Sometimes it is all that works.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 1:23 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • You can tell her like I tell everyone who tells me how to raise my child - "Really? Maybe you should have more of your own children and do that!" or when they try to give me medical "advice" I say "And where did you go to medical school at again?" or "I didn't know you were a Dr?!?"
    I'm really opinionated tho- so I seem a little "smart" sometimes. lol!
    wishwish

    Answer by wishwish at 2:26 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • ok first of all....i held my son all the time...and i mean all the time....he isnt spoiled, the only time he wants me is if he hurt himself or is hungry....hes 3 months old....not 3 years old....id tell them hey he is our child...not yours....i hear enough negativity from my husband on the matter, but im am the one breastfeeding...so butt out....

    but thats me and i bite back...lol


    just ignore them....i don think you are spoiling him...i didnt let my son cry it out until he was around 8 months old when he moved to his own room....now he goes to bed by himself, and doesnt need me anymore....hes only 2,

    your not harming your son....your loving him
    Mamaof2boys0709

    Answer by Mamaof2boys0709 at 8:34 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • i just smile and say ok then keep doing it my own way. Like when my MIL says you need to put shoes on him I say OK then just don't. They are annoying but I just don't listen to them at all and eventually they will get the point ( I am hoping) but in the meantime I just say OK and let it go in one ear and out the other... Keeps me sane that way rather then arguing with idiots which makes me mad.....
    KatieP.

    Answer by KatieP. at 9:51 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • There is nothing wrong with letting a baby cry. It can actually be beneficial for them to do so. (As long as they're not crying because they're hungry, need a diaper change, or in pain) However, if you're not comfortable with that, them pick him up. It's your baby, you decide how to raise him. I had the same problem with my MIL (not the same issues). She constantly told me what I was doing wrong, until I stuck up for myself and let her know that it's up to me, not her. So, you should do the same. HE'S YOUR BABY!!!
    ginger813

    Answer by ginger813 at 11:26 AM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Everyone is right, there isnt really a way to get people to stop giving you advice or stop thinking that their way is best. But that doesnt mean you have to listen to any one of them. Your baby, your way END OF STORY!
    Now, your hubby, thats a different story, you 2 need to be on the same page when it comes to parenting. You 2 need to have a major conversation about things. With him, you provide research, facts, websites, reports etc about why something is the best/right way.
    jubes

    Answer by jubes at 12:19 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

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