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Need advice on fighting children!! Please Help!!

My daughter 8 and my son 7 are constently argueing and fighting, calling names and purposely doing things to agrivate each other. I do time outs, and take away things like video games and t.v. privilages but nothing seems to work.
What can I do to encourage good behavior in the house and in public?? I'm at my wits end!!! They just don't seem to care anymore if they get in trouble, they just ask well when can I get out of time out? Or well how long til I CAN watch tv? And they just wait til then like nothing happened. What then? Harsher punishments? I don't know what to do!!

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 12:05 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • unless they r killing each other i would let them go tell them to take it outside and leave u alone and dont come in intill they can be humans...i mean if u livein a safe place..my parents use to make me and my brother stand in the middle of a room holding hands or stand with r arms out extendted form r bodies and we couldnt move form that postions intill we stopped talking, makeing faces, and stopped wienning after wards we had to hug and say r appoligies
    rainmommy

    Answer by rainmommy at 12:33 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I agree to allowing them to take it outside and figure it out. They are just bored. Maybe outside they can get distracted and find something more interesting to do than to pester each other. Find them something to do and they will cut that crap out. Have them play card games or board games (not video games). have them make up stories (one start and the other add to it and go back and forth). Have them work on putting on a play for you or drawing pix with a story behind it for dad. We were not allowed to stay indoors and pester adults when we were kids and we found all sorts of stuff to do from jump rope to climbing trees and exploring the back yard. We rode bikes and played hop scotch on the sidewalk or kick ball. Let them use their imaginations. It's all good. If all else fails let write a paper on why they are fighting and how they would stop it if it were their kids
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:44 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • My little sister and I were like that. My mom would make us sit on the couch hugging until we stopped fighting.
    If we were acting out in public, she made us hold hands or hug while we walked around. Damn it was embarrassing! But we stopped fighting. If we didn't we couldn't go out with her any more.

    It is also important to set the rules before your go out and state you expectations EVERY time! Just because they are always the same, doesn't mean that a real reminder right before isn't needed. It gives them a reminder of what you expect, so that it is fresh in their minds. I always say, " While we are in the store I expect you to be polite, that means No running around, No begging for things, No fighting. If you cannot act politely we will leave the store." It works most of the time, if it doesn't, we leave the store and they are not allowed to go again for a while.
    Nathskitten

    Answer by Nathskitten at 12:47 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • If they are acting like this now it sounds like all of the "time outs" when they were toddlers did no good. They do not respect you or hear you as a authority figure it sounds like. Anything drastic you do now like spanking will seem foreign to them and may not help you at all. You run the house or they run you. It depends on how you want to handle it.

    If you can't handle your kids then you may want to look in to boarding schools.
    lilbit022009

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 2:29 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Exsqueeze me?....boarding school....LOL. Sometimes you have to let them sort it out. Right now at their age that is perfectly normal. Keep them busy, and have them sit down and play board games or even a fun craft.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 2:44 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Yes, I agree, you have to let them sort it out. They are at the age where they will bicker and fight over everything. But you could also do something, like a chart perhaps, where they get a sticker every time they are caught being nice, listening, making a good choice. Then perhaps at the end of the week whoever has the most gets to pick a special meal or outing or such.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • lol I would say boarding school sounds a bit extreme!!! It is summer and i'm sure they are bored out their minds without school to keep them busy for 7 hours of the day the day gets very long!!
    Setting up activities sounds like a great thing to do!! Or maybe a few playdates a week or visits to friends and family would break up the day....
    good luck

    lol boarding school
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:52 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

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