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21 month old hitting

My 21 month old daughter is going through a hitting stage (or that's what I'm calling it) she hits me whenever she gets angry. I always grab her arm and sternly say "No Hitting" and put her in time out for about 2-3 minutes... but seriously how many times do I have to do that before it sinks in? Is this normal and does anyone else have any suggestions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 1:18 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Toddlers (1-2)

Answers (5)
  • she obviously learned it from someone. tell her that hitting is wrong and mean. try to show her a better way to vent her anger/frustration, maybe have her hit a pillow or her bed next tiime she's upset.

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 1:21 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Honestly - I would keep doing what you are doing... but when you grab her arm & tell her 'No Hitting' - get down on your knee, down on her level so she looks in your eyes. Then put her in her time out - when the time out is over, go over to her, again down on her level and tell her "we can not hit, it hurts other people and it is not nice" - or something to that effect.

    Answer by RutterMama at 1:24 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I don't think she had to learn it from somewhere - my son started hitting at 13 months and he was home wiht me and my mom when he wasn't with me - I KNOW we don't hit - they are just not sure how to deal with their emotions. I ask the same question though - my son still is doing it at 20 months- not all the time but totally when he gets mad!

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 1:29 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I wouldnt change what you are doing. Make sure she realizes what shes in time out for. When time out is over, ask her if she knows why she was in time out. Explain it to her again.

    I watch a 4 year old and he knows that when he jumps on his couch (because mommy lets him at home and doesnt care but still expects him to respect peoples things at their house) he goes in time out. And everytime when he comes out of time out, i was him and he says i dont know. And we talk about it. Then we are usually good for that day.

    Answer by AirborneBratMom at 1:31 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • My son started at 12 months. I came to the conclusion that it was from high 5's. So I had that stopped and he stopped. Then it stopped being in fun, but frustration. So I would start yelling, "MAD! MAD! MAD!" and after about 2 days, that stopped him

    At 18 months, it started again, but in anger/frustration again. At first, I would grab his arms and tell him no. He would get more mad and then he would start grabbing my arm and pinching it hard, (learned behavior). So I just let him sit on the ground and did the "MAD! MAD! MAD" thing again and it stops him quicker.

    It's giving words and showing him "I get how you feel."

    When he's calmed down, I talk nicely about how it's not ok to hit. It's definately calmed down again and he's just now 20 months.

    Answer by lynnard at 5:24 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

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