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to moms with adult/grown kids.....

how do you feel about lending money to them??

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 1:55 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (10)
  • I don't like doing it but every time her tax refund comes in she pays me back in full so until she fails to give it back, I'll continue to lend it but I always tell her to try to find other options first bc I won't always be here.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:01 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I HAVE NEVER SAID NO, AND MOST OF THE TIME I DON'T ACCEPT IT BACK, UNLESS I REALLY NEED IT. I WANT THEM TO FEEL THEY CAN COUNT ON ME ANYTIME THE NEED ARISES, AND IF I AM ABLE TO HELP WITH $ I WILL, USUALLY NO STRINGS ATTACHED, BUT I DO EXPECT THEM TO AT LEAST OFFER TO PAY BACK, THEY ALWAYS DO. MY MOTTO WITH MY KIDS IS WHAT IS MINE IS YOURS.
    older

    Answer by older at 2:04 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Being an adult child myself... I am only 27... I would NOT lend it to them. I say this because if you do it once, they will expect it again, and again, and again... and will never have to learn life's hard lessons and build character for them as adults.
    RutterMama

    Answer by RutterMama at 2:42 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I don't like it cuz its hard for them to pay it back.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:27 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • hand it over and kiss it goodbye. If they need something pay for it but no cash in hand
    lawla

    Answer by lawla at 9:05 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Our son just got through college a year ago. We sent him $250 a month for expenses and he had to get a job to pay for anything else. Once he came back from college and was living with us we gave him 3 months to get a job and then another 3 months to move out. We just recently gave him some money to help pay bills (electric gets very expensive in the summer in Arizona) but I don't intend on making this a habit. It's hard not to help them but I know if you keep doing it they'll just expect it every time they mismanage their money. Young people won't learn full responsibility until they realize mom and dad are'nt paying for things anymore.
    chocaholic888

    Answer by chocaholic888 at 2:04 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • If they pay you back there shouldn't be an issue should there, that is if you can afford it.
    Waxing_Lyrical

    Answer by Waxing_Lyrical at 8:48 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • OK WHY NOT
    molly900

    Answer by molly900 at 6:51 PM on Aug. 20, 2009

  • It is very hard not to lend. I have learned a few things tho. I think if the loan is a loan, then it should be paid back. If they don't make any attempt to pay back, then no more money is loaned to them.
    For those that do pay back, more money is loaned. For those that didn't pay back, we consider that loan no longer a loan but a GIFT. Otherwise hard feelings arrise.
    OpiesMom809

    Answer by OpiesMom809 at 5:14 PM on Sep. 28, 2009

  • I help them if I can afford it. If it is something that is a necessity like paying for insurance or electric bill, I would help them. If it's for a vacation or frivolous purchase, then probably not. My kids try to pay back when they can but if they are really having a hard time, I couldn't just sit and watch them struggle if I can help them.
    AMLU

    Answer by AMLU at 11:32 AM on Jan. 13, 2010

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