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The "other woman" is still trying to contact my husband - what should I do?

My husband and I separated after 16 years of marriage, during this time, he had an affair - which just about killed me emotionally. We found our love for each other and through love, dedication and counseling we are back together and going strong. I love my husband and he loves me more than anything in the world. He is ashamed and incredibly sorry for ever even meeting this woman, much less having a relationship with her. He ended it the second I said I wanted him back and told her never to contact him again. It has been 3 months now and she is still trying to contact him. We blocked her number on his phone so she can't get through. I have had it with this woman and intend to send her a cease and desist email today. I can't move on until she is completely gone and she just keeps trying to come back. He is pissed off too - he hates that she is trying to contact him, but doesn't want to talk to her at all. Opinions?

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:13 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (29)
  • Either track her down and beat her ass or get a restraining order... that's a little psycho if you ask me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:15 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Send her the message. Just be careful not to include anything in it that she could say is a threat etc. anything she could try to use against you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:16 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I agree with first poster Shit if she lives near me I'm in the mood to kick some ones ass I'll do it for you.

    Answer by hot-mama86 at 2:24 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • An email won't work. She will respond to it then you will type her back and it will get into a she said/she said email war. What will that solve?

    I have been where you are and if this woman is still contacting your husband it might mean that the husband is still contacting her, leading her on and making her think that he will leave you again.

    If you're going to file harassment charges on her then do it. Don't sway back and forth about your decision of what you should or shouldn't do. If you're going to file charges then do it and be done with it.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 2:24 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Your husband is an asshole! First of all for toying with both your emotions and this "other woman" 's emotions and second for just dropping her like a hot potatoe when you say you want him back. Of course she's going to go psycho! She was hurt. I'm not saying it's an excuse for you to not beat her ass but just think about how much turmoil your husband has put you and her through! Who is the real bad guy here?

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:26 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Go get a restraining order. If that won't work, then talk to an attorney to see what CAN legally be done. 


    Answer by pnwmom at 2:27 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • If you contact her and threaten in any way she can turn the message/email or voice mail over to the police. If you truly believe your husband does not want anything to do with this woman then He should make it perfectly clear to her that she needs to stop. Make sure he is not contacting her in any way.Do you have 2 telephones? Maybe with you on one line and him on the other he could tell her this way. You just have to be very careful and not make threats.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:27 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I'm sorry that your husband doesn't want to talk to her, but he made his bed...this is for him to handle, not you. I would have HIM call her one last time to tell her that he is getting a restraining order and then have him call the police, fill out a report and get the restaining order. Period.

    Answer by gramsmom at 2:33 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I agree with the poster who said your hubs may still be talking to her.. You should threaten to file for a restraining order and see how your hubs reacts. If he's game, file it. If he protests... It just seems sktechy. :-\

    Answer by Kodeekins at 2:34 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Well when I meet my DH we both were getting divorced from our ex and although mine dint care for me any more my hubby's ex was constantly calling him and even faking her voice on the phone. My DH change a few times the number and she always manage to get it I dont know how. He was tired of arguing with her till one day I got piss off and decide to do something about it. I insulted her on the phone and because she dint care and keep doing the same thing I was forced to beat the crap out of her and after that problem solve. We haven't known from her for 5 years lol. I'm not telling you to do the same but if you dont do something she wont stop.


    Answer by nily at 2:35 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

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