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was it wrong of me to have my hubby choose me and his son over his brother and his wife

ok heres the deal, my hubby's brother, his wife and child r staying with us for awhile (no longer then 2 months i was told) they r coming to the 2 month mark and they r planning to stay longer. since they have been here me and my hubby fight a lot, and i think its goin to ruin us if they dont leave. i sat down with him and told him how i felt,and we came the conclusion that they had till the and of sep. that gives them 2 extra months to be here, but he still wont make them go. so i finnaly broke down and told him if they r not gone by the end of sep. then i will leave. was that wrong?

 
cage0101

Asked by cage0101 at 2:25 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (7)
  • No, cause you are his family first. Youand your child. HE choose to spend his life with you and creat life with you. He needs to step up and do what needs to be done four your family. Everyone else comes second. Heck last if they are going to cause problems in your marriage,
    EarthMama05

    Answer by EarthMama05 at 2:31 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I don't think you are necessarily wrong, I think you are frustrated and are feeling cramped and crowded in your own home and are tired of the conflicts that have occurred. The end of Sept. is a ways off, so I think that you may possibly be jumping the gun a bit by giving him an ultimatum like that at this point and time. I would advise all 4 of you to sit down and come up with a plan that everyone can live with and set the expectations then and there so everyone knows where they stand. I also think that you need to talk to your husband and tell him exactly what you are feeling in a calm way so that he does not feel attacked and let him know that you miss the way things were before you had extra people in your home. Although he may feel that you are overreacting he needs to be receptive and understand that your feelings are valid. Remember that if you run away, your problems will be there waiting when you get back. GL
    MansfieldMomma

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 2:40 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • they are lucky. I wouldn't have given them that long. Sometimes a woman has to do what a woman has to do to protect the sanctity of her own home. You did the right thing
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 2:56 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • No one can make you two fight you are chosing to do that on your own. You need to set rules for them while they are in your home and stick by them. Your husband loves his brother and in the end you will probably lose if you make him choose. My ex husband made me choose between him and my mom I chose my mom she will always be there for me he might not and wasn't since he did make me choose. He will still see his child even if you choose to leave so he is choosing them over you not the child. Ultimatiums usually do backfire.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:37 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • No, you and your child should be his priority now, not his brother. Your marriage is more important, so no you weren't wrong.
    abbynzachsmommy

    Answer by abbynzachsmommy at 3:42 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • well i did what i did and if he wants his son and i then he will make them leave. and they r making us fight cuase there is to much stress in the house.
    cage0101

    Answer by cage0101 at 3:43 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • No, you are right to feel frustrated and put out. You had an agreement (2 months) and now they are changing said agreement-- without bothering to have your input. I think it is time to remind hubby that guests are like fish- they stink after 3 days, and if said 'guests' are here past Sept. they WILL be charged rent to pay for you and your child's hotel room!
    I hope they move out soon, and things get better!
    Good luck!
    MizLee

    Answer by MizLee at 4:14 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

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