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I'm going insane, 3.5 yr old will not go to bed and sleep

My daughter is 3 1/2 yrs old. We've always had problems with her and sleep. She will not go to bed. I can start at 7 or 9, it makes no difference, she's still awake and coming out of her room at 11. Yes, 11 pm. I have to get her up at 7 to go to daycare because I work. She also wakes up in the night and comes to my bed, by that time, I'm so exhausted I just give in and let her stay. I'm not getting any sleep, neither is she, and I'm certainly not getting ANY alone time. I'm going nuts, help!

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Asked by Anonymous at 2:46 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Preschoolers (3-4)

Answers (5)
  • im currently haveing the same problem with my daughter and she is just about the same age. what ive started to do is put in a nite light giver her a prize in the morning (anything works at that age sticker cookie what ever) and i stopped giving her naps, tell daycare not to giver her a nap because of this. so far this is working. oh i also moved her bedroom around a little not much just enough to make it look changed. try it and see what happens. the last two days it has worked for me she passes out 5 mins after bedtime and is sleeping later in the morning. and dont let any cat naps happen either. after about a week or so start to phase out the "prize" and she wont even know the difference. i guess its kinda like potty training :)
    good luck.
    oh i also had the added benifit of my 7mo sharing the same room and having to put both back to bed because she would wake her sister up as well.

    Answer by laura970 at 3:06 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Ok, I am going to give a suggestion - just a suggestion - and it may seem harsh at first.

    Start your bed time routine around 7pm or so. When it is time for actual bed, say your good nights, hug, kisses & put her in bed. Turn & walk out of the room & close the door as much as you are comfortable with.

    The first time she comes out say to her ' It's bedtime'. and take her back to her bed.

    The second time say 'bedtime' and put her back.

    The fourth, fifth, tenth, twentieth... how ever long it takes - say nothing - and put her back in her bed.

    Eventually she will realize that you mean business and she will stay and go to sleep.

    It may be rough the first couple nights, but you will be SO glad you spent the time and energy!!! Hope this helps!

    Answer by RutterMama at 5:26 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I'm so exhausted I just give in and let her stay.

    That right there is the problem. She knows if she keeps at it eventually she will get her way. I'm all for cosleeping and do it myself but you need to make up your mind if you're going to let her sleep with you or not and stick to it. You could always try letting her fall asleep in your bed then moving her to her own bed and gradually getting her to fall asleep there. Maybe she is scared. Lay in there for a little bit by yourself one night and see if there is any noise, shadows, anything that might be freaking her out then fix it. That was all it took with my son. A tree branch looked like a monster in the night light.

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:31 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I had this problem with my now 6yr old and my now 4yr old. I was going crazy with the oldest of the two because I was pregant with my daughter. I spoke with his doctor and our answer was to cut the naps short and gradually went to no nap. Some kids are like some adults, a nap is giving them way to much sleep. I'm one of those people. I ask their schools not to let them sleep the hold nap time, but understand they have to have quiet time. This worked for us, by 8:30 we whine it down and everyone goes to sleep, because they're tried.
    Well wishes with your sleeples nights.

    Answer by redhotmomma46 at 7:54 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Check this book out, I found it at my Library it was VERY helpful for me, "The no-cry sleep solution for toddlers and preschoolers" by Elizabeth Pantley. I can't say enough good things about it. Good luck!

    Answer by rchris48 at 10:22 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

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