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How can you change your marriage??

We've been married almost 2 years in september and it hasnt gotten easy i was 20 when we got married and was 3 months pregnant now i'm 3 months pregnant again and its gotten worse, he have a hard time with money though we make it through if we really buckle down he gets mad the house isnt cleaned the dishes are dirty i work full time and i dont do anything with myself though he does help its the same old stuff everyday the same argument everyday
If someone loves you will they change for you or are you stuck with the man you married???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 4:25 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • you make no sense "stuck with the man you married" well marriage takes work, it's not all fun & games or a chance to "play house" both of you need to accept the responsablity of raising your children TOGETHER
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:27 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • The person you married is the person he will be for the rest of his life. You can't make him change...he has to want to do that for himself. Why did you marry him if you didn't like who he is? How about you come up with a chore chart so you each have responsibilites?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • If you want a man to change you are in for a LONG wait. You don't marry someone that you want to change- you shouldn't have had more children if it was that bad in the first place
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:28 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • First of all you guys really need to sit down and talk fighting isn't going to get you anywhere whats so ever, you need to address each others issues and what's breaking you guys apart, and if he realizes that he is hurting you then he will change if he really loves you but you have to be willing to change to cuz marriage is a 2 way street. Marriage is one of the hardest challenges out there for the most part people give up and get a divorce, but if you really work at it together and you accomplish things together your life will get much better

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 4:40 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I doubt if anyone is going to change. Most ppl like themselves the way they are and see no need to change and even if they did they don't know how and would need professional help to change. You married him "as is". You could talk with him and work together toward making some changes but I doubt if it will be much different than it started out.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 4:41 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I try to tell people, especially young woman, please don't marry a guy JUST because your pregnant. 90% of the time, when people marry just out of pregnancy, they get divorced. You have to develop a friendship, & respect w/ someone before you can even think about getting married. You will be stuck w/ your husband, unless you start somehow making money for yourself.


    NO, people do not change for anyone. You have to find someone you love %100 including their faults. You cannot expect anyone to change for you, that is selfish. If you do not love him the way he is now, then most likely your relationship is doomed. My ex would have changed EVERYTHING about me if he could, well i ended up leaving him & finding a guy who would NEVER change a thing about me. He loves me, faults & all. That is what unconditional love is. You guys have a rough road ahead of you. I would get some b/c after your deliver your baby.

    samurai_chica

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:42 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • The easiest and surest way to change your marriage is to change yourself. Honestly, you can hope and pray that he will "change" but in the end you make all the difference in your own life. One way to get over his "flaws" is to write them down, acknowledge they are there, and then forget them. It does help, I did that in the first year my DH and I were married, and at the time I didn't think he had that many flaws but it helped me to accept him the way he is. I've stopped trying to change him, and while I still notice them, they don't bother me.
    Lesli

    Answer by Lesli at 4:53 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I suggest you look into come counseling- I'd ask your doctor or your clergy. these things are often offered on a sliding scale. My hubby used to yell at me a lot about those things, turned out he was actually upset about something else he couldn't easily talk about.

    do what you can to get communication going. Try going for walks together and such even if you need to take the baby in a stroller. Go can't change a man, but compromise is possible.
    Best of luck to you!
    LadyAronna

    Answer by LadyAronna at 4:57 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

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