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"Your hand is disgusting, I don't want to hold it"

This is what my 6 year old DD hears almost on a daily basis. She had 3rd degree burns on her hands, forearms, and feet when she was 2, and has very bad scars and discoloration now.

When she started Kindergarten, kids made fun of her, she really took it with a grain of salt, but I knew it bothered her. I have always wanted her to enjoy things like a normal child, so she is in summer day camp now. Yesterday none of the kids would hold her hand durning a game they were playing, they told her she was disgusting, some of the kids were even older in their tweens. She still wants to go back, she says she has fun, but she cried yesterday when this happened.

What do you think I can do to make this better for her? She is having such a hard time. Any advice?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 5:11 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in General Parenting

Answers (17)
  • I have no advice, but kids can be cruel :-( I am so sorry your dd is going through this.

    Answer by babycakes254 at 5:13 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Omg, this breaks my heart. That is so unbelievably sad for your DD. I'm sure it's hard for a little girl to understand that. I suppose the only thing you can do is explain to her how sometimes people who don't understand treat others with differences badly, even though it's not right. Let her know that you find every part of her, including her hands, beautiful, and that as she gets older people won't be so mean.I would talk to the camp counselor and explain the situation. Maybe he/she could explain to one of the nicer and more mature kids the situation and they would be willing to hold her hand. Poor little thing, I'd hold her hand for sure. :(

    Answer by StefanieN84 at 5:14 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I really don't have any advice on how to deal with this situation, but reading that honestly made me tear up. It sounds like your daughter is already a very strong person, and that comes from you and what you have taught her, good job momma! Unfortunately we cannot control that other parents sometimes lack in areas, such as teaching their children to be kind and not to tease others because they are different from them in some way. I think that all you can do is continue to teach her that she is a special, amazing and very unique young lady and people should be thankful and feel blessed that they have the honor to meet her and get to know her. Tell her to answer their questions with a smile and be as open as she can about it. I wish you the best of luck, and of course your daughter too. Children can be cruel, but as long as she remembers and is reminded of how special she is and how loved she I believe she will remain strong.

    Answer by MansfieldMomma at 5:17 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • She's ahead of the game because she is learning early in life that people can be so mean.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:19 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Home school. My three kids have a rare genetic disease. They looked normal but had to miss a lot of school and spend a lot of time at a major children's hospital. The kids treated them so bad it just got easier to home school.

    Answer by GailllAZ at 5:20 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I hear you. I would make it a point of interest. I have a daughter with a brain tumor and another one on the autistic spectrum. What I mean by making it a point of interest, like a show and tell where they are invited to 'share' in this unknown thing. These other kids need to realize what your baby went through, what skin that looks that way feels like, and lower their apprehensions so they will be less likely to reject touching her again. Hard one. I'm proud that your daughter still wants to do. LIfe is hard and people can be cruel....the sooner we/she learns this and that their reactions do not reflect who she truly is on the inside and out, the better off we'll all be......good luck......God bless.

    Answer by momof2wneeds at 5:20 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • The only advice i can give you is remind her how beautiful she is everyday. Maybe if you brought it up to the teachers, they could spend a little time one day and explain to the class what happened to her, and why her skin is like that. Lots of kids are mean about things they don't understand. Maybe if they knew more about it, and got to ask her questions they would become more comforable with her. I'm sorry your little one has to go through this.

    Answer by Iluvmygirlies42 at 5:21 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • OP HERE:
    Thank you ladies for the very kind commets, I appreciate it. I am sorry I hit "anon" before I posted my question not thinking. I try to not get upset when I hear she is having a hard time, but goodness knows it breaks my heart too, and I cry because she is hurting.

    Answer by lilymama03 at 5:21 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.

    Answer by writeon at 5:25 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • That is rough, yes kids can be mean. Heard of this story of this man who served in Vietnam, although he survived it, he was near a grenade when it went off, had his ear blown off, and face messed up. He went around sharing his testimony, and didn't let others opinion get to him. Your daughter is going to be a blessing as she grows up, and can share the best of herself.

    Answer by Anonymous at 5:26 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

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