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Will I be a bad mom?

I am 23 and 8 weeks pregnant with my first child and I am already scared of being a bad mom. I constantly feel sick and tired and it is really frustrating. I love my baby but at times when i get frustrated i refer to the "stupid baby" and i feel bad about it. I love my baby and i don't want to put down my baby but it just slips out and my husband gets hurt and wonders if i can handle another 7 months of uncomfortable. He doesn't say anything to make me feel bad but i think he thinks i don't love the baby. I feel bad because i don't think my heart knows yet and even when it does know will i still slip when i get frustrated with this pregnancy? does it mean i am a bad mom?

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Asked by swtabbga at 6:07 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Pregnancy

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Answers (11)
  • you are hormonal, think of the joy this baby is, the miracle you are carrying.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:09 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Just wait.. as you get towards the end and are even more miserable... yes being pregnant isn't the greatest feeling sometimes.. but have you had an ultrasound or anything like that yet?

    Once you see that little baby, or hear the tiny heart beat.. you'll know in your heart that you will be a good mom. And once you meet that little one face to face... you won't even be thinking about whether or not you are going to be a good mom :-) I'm sure you are going to do wonderful! Good luck!

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Hormones and heat are a bad combo. One thing I have noticed with MY 4 boys is that they each have the general emotional tendancies I had when I was pregnant with them. I did not notice this until after my 3rd one was born though. Lighten up on your self and be open with hubby about it. If you are really concerned then mention it to your doctor at your next appointment, my was great with relaxation excercises to help me feel better.

    Answer by majiklcerri at 6:35 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Feeling sick and tired all the time is a big part of the 1st trimester! I think it will get better. Just be patient. Maybe researching some pregnancy symptoms will help you deal with it, so you better understand the way you feel.
    I am about 8 weeks too, i think... I haven't been to the doctor yet. But I have an 8 and 7 year old. I am sick some days alllll day long and could probably sleep 18 hours a day. It's okay and it's normal. You and your husband could talk to your doctor about these symptoms... being pregnant isn't always the best feeling in the world but when your baby comes it'll all be worth it. And i'm sure you'll be a great mom!!!
    If you still feel frustrated after baby, be sure you talk to your doctor about post partum depression.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:36 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Totally normal! Just wait till you start seeing your belly grow, and feel him/her move. It will all change then! If the feelings persist... there is no shame in telling your OB how you are feeling and they may refer you to a therapist - NO SHAME!

    But I would be willing to bed that it is early pregnancy hormones! And NO - I don't think you will be a bad mom. You get to choose what kind of mom to be!

    Answer by RutterMama at 6:40 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • hey . . . thanks!!! It is the "stupid baby" thought that has me all upset and feeling bad. I just don't want to be one of those mom's constantly putting down their child because of their own frustrations and i am scared i am already starting. and my comment isn't how i really feel . . . i don't know . . . i just have been feeling bad about it since i said it last night. but your support makes me feel a little better thanks

    Answer by swtabbga at 7:02 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Hormones! I do feel your pain girl. I snap at my husband for trying to help out and be supportive and I am stubborn because I am super woman and don't need any help. That will all change when my ass grows its own solar system and I can't scoot off the couch fast enough to get to the bathroom to pee for the 15th time that day. Then I am sure I will be very appreciative.

    It's hormones. You don't even realize it's happening but right now your body is working overtime to build a placenta. For the duration of your pregnancy your heart will enlarge by 20% to help pump extra blood to the baby. When you become tired the most, that is your body's way of telling you to slow down because it's making something vital for the baby. Go to and keep up with when your due date is and what changes happen each with inside you.

    This is going to pass so fast and then you'll be holding a newborn. It's ok.

    Answer by lilbit022009 at 7:40 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • A good mom will worry if she is a good mom or a bad mom, and a bad mom doesn't the fact that you are worring means you will be a great mom.

    Answer by newmom092009 at 8:26 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • you have it completely right....a good mom worries about it a bad mom doesn't.

    pregnancy hormones + heat = bad combo LOL

    I'm pretty sure we've all been there.

    Answer by hypermamaz at 8:34 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Just let the hormones fling around, people know I did. Remember pregnancy and mom are two different things. It's ok.

    Answer by LilWiyotMomma at 10:47 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

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