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How happy do you feel you should be with your marriage?

I know everyone has they falling outs but I feel like me and my husband have had way to many in the year and a half we've been married. We kinda rushed into getting married because he joined the army. He just does a lot of stupid/immature stuff and doesn't put me and our 9 month old daughter first. But then there are times when he can be really sweet and im happy for a little bit. It just worries me because when we are apart I don't really miss him. Im just really confused about it all... Is it normal to feel confused about your marriage at times?

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:46 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (6)
  • Yes, it is normal to feel confused and don't let anyone tell you otherwise. Marriage is one of the toughest things (other than being a parent) that you will ever do. Just keep in mind that this too shall pass. And, if you can sit down together and watch a movie, I would recommend watching Fireproof together and if it hits home get the book "The Love Dare" and try to apply it to your marriage. My husband and I did this recently and things are indescribably better in our marriage and home. Both of us have changed and even a friend we hadn't seen in months stopped by the other day to say hi and commented that we seemed so happy and content and there seemed to be no tension between us. We had been struggling off and on for years. The love was there but the respect and appreciation for one another was lacking. I am so glad it has taken a turn for the better and the movie and book made all the difference in the world. GL
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:55 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • HELLS YEAH! A friend told me warned me about year 7, and I almost thought I wouldn't make it that far. ( My DH and I have been together for 19 years but married for 11; we have two young, school-aged sons-who are 19 mos apart- as well as a puppy.) Once the fog cleared from baby #2, I began to view our marriage very differently. As much as he makes me want to stab his baby toe with a fork in his sleep at times, he is truly one of the best human beings I have ever met. He's a hard working man who wants to take care of our family WITH me. Plus, I don't fear for the safety of myself or my children, and he has never disrespected our relationship. (Probably because of the whole baby toe threat...) And, these two facts along with our history and love are the reasons that I continue this journey with him through hills, valleys, swamps, etc.  Good luck!

    jonosmama

    Answer by jonosmama at 10:00 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • I think the first few years of marriage are hard for most people, and if you're spending long periods of time separated, I'm sure that doesn't help. You may have rushed into a marriage, but something brought you together, and especially since you have a child, you need to try to find that and build from there. Having a child quickly also makes it harder to build your couple relationship, now you have to do it while you learn to parent....but you can.

    My husband & I have been married for 20 years. There have been times when I just wanted to throw something at him (I didn't) and I'm sure times when he felt the same way. Especially when the kids were small it was difficult. When you are married there are days when you wake up & it's easy to love the man laying next to you, and days when you have to get up and make a decision to love him. Anyone who tells you it should be easy is crazy. Marriage is work. EVERY MARRIAGE! Good Luck
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 10:03 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • i don't expect it to be prefect knowing let me deal with the hard times and know that through it all it's worth it. he truly loves me and we have been fated together.
    melody77

    Answer by melody77 at 10:25 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • The first years are hard and so is being married. You will not have all sunshine and roses throughout your marriage and that's normal.
    lowencope

    Answer by lowencope at 10:36 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • My marriage has been better than I could have ever imagined it could be. BUT the first 7 years were tough!! I wanted a strong leader, provider, father, etc. WhenI realized thats what I had, I struggled for power for years. We almost fell apart 4 years ago, but turned it around on a dime and worked really hard on OURselves and stopped pointing the finger. We started offering the support to each other that we would want for ourselves. I love him more than I thought possible.

    So.. I believe if you really want something.. the situation can change.
    scout575

    Answer by scout575 at 10:37 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

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