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how do you handle a daughter who is REALLY unhappy about getting her period?

she is 14 & told me she doesn't want to grow-up

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Asked by Anonymous at 11:26 PM on Jul. 22, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (12)
  • you tell her that life's not fair and growing up is part of life. everyone has obstacles they have to face everyday and God will give you the strength to get over the obstacles put in front of you. all you need to do is ask him.

    Answer by mandielynn23 at 11:42 PM on Jul. 22, 2009

  • Perhaps you could point out all the ways that growing up is fun, especially for women. If you have not previously allowed her to, take her shopping and buy her her first make-up (light gloss or something). Or show her some other special treat. When this happened to me, I was upset, but I remember the next Sunday I was able to pick out a brand new pair of real heels- my first ones! I still remember them and how cool I thought it was to be a "woman". Lol, just try to make it a positive experience for her!

    Answer by Emuu at 12:34 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Sorry, but she needs to know that she doesn't have a choice and everyone must grow up. If she ever wants to have kids, she has to have a period to do so. Get her some books about her changing body and discuss it with her.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:46 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Wow. Does she have other emotional issues? Her reaction is that of a much younger child...

    Answer by rkoloms at 12:06 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Like it or not she will have to accept this every young lady goes through this, it really isn't that bad once it comes it is up to you how to take of yourself and keep yourself clean.

    Starting you period is symbolizing you are becoming a young lady.

    She'll be fine, maybe if she talked about it with some friends that has gone through it already or rent a video on it or google it get her informed maybe she won't feel so uptight about atleast like this she will have an idea what to expect. GL


    Answer by Butterfly1108 at 2:20 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I would try to get her to tell me why she doesn't want to grow up. I would wager that she has some fears of some kind. I would want to know what those fears were. I would also be reassuring her that just because she is growing up doesn't mean that she is there yet, that I am still her mom and that I have no intention of abandoning her to the grown up world. I would tell her that I intend to stay involve in every aspect of her life, that I want to be her guide to making wise choices, and that she can always count on me to protect and encourage her. I would talk to her about how special it is to be a woman and how she should appreciate herself for all her positive qualities. She is probably just suffering from feelings of insecurity in all the areas and more and needs her mom to let her know that she is not abnormal and that you intend to support her every step of the way.

    Answer by NannyB. at 2:29 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • This reminds me of the episode of Roseanne when Darlene started her period. She was very depressed because she was a tomboy who liked to play sports and she thought turning into a woman was going to end that.

    I think NannyB could be right - your daughter may have some fears, which may or may not be rational. Try to talk to your daughter and find out what's really bothering her.

    Best of luck to you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:36 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I wish I knew. I was FURIOUS when I got mine. It always came w/ such miserable pain. It still does. What exactly does she have a problem w/? Getting older? Dealing w/ pads? Afraid of leaks? Painful cramps?

    Answer by jus1jess at 3:38 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I feel the same way every month! LOL! Not really, but it does suck. Maybe you could validate her concerns and then show her that 50% of the population totally understands what she is going through. I think it is totally normal for her to feel that way.

    One fear for me was using tampons. I wouldn't even try for the longest time (like 4 years), but then when I figured out how to use them, I was in heaven! They really got rid of all the embarrassing period related fears. Tell her that it is okay to practice using them until she gets the hang of it, if that is a fear also.

    Answer by squish at 3:53 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I would tell her that she needs to learn to get over it, because every other woman for the past 10,000 years has somehow learned to deal w/ it OK.

    Answer by samurai_chica at 4:23 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

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