Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

we were sepperated at the time

2 years before i married my boyfriend we sepperated ... i started dating his bestfriend at the time (i had dated his bestfriend when i was in highschool and still had feelings for him). Now i am married and he keeps bringing it up that i slept with this guy. the marriage is not legalized yet since we got married in the dominican and we are waiting on the documents to legalize it. what should i do? if he cant get over it should i just leave him ? we have 2 kids together. he keeps calling me a cheater but i am not we had broke up for a year.... please help me out here

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 1:58 AM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • Sounds like you need to seek counseling. Dating his best friend is not a nice thing to do I would assume they are not even friends now. You need to be more sympathetic to how he is feeling he will need to learn to get past this. Might be good you are not married sucks you have kids that will be stuck in the middle. If he can't get past this you two don't have much. I feel for him and you but we all have to live with the consequences of our chosen actions.

    Answer by Anonymous at 2:14 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I think you guys just need to sit down and really talk this thing through so he can move on

    Answer by looovemybabies at 2:17 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Honestly, I think he is being a jerk for bringing it up. You said its been 2 years since you dated his friend... and you guys were separated FOR A YEAR??? he seriously needs to get over it.
    We all have a past and there's nothing we can do to change anything we've done. It is wrong for him to be calling you names! I don't necessarily think you should split, it is important to work things out, but if he's not going to get over it, maybe there is no other choice. I don't really think you need counseling either, he is the one with the problem, not you. I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, but what the heck, did he think you were gonna sit there and do nothing for a whole year and wait for you guys to get back together? geeze

    Answer by nico409ant at 2:23 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Maybe the two of you need to seek counciling before you make your marriage legal. This could seriously hurt your relationship and the children could get hurt by it.

    Answer by homealone_10 at 2:34 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Even if it isnt your fault, marriage is a partnership, either seek help for his issues as partners, or divorce as partners. Either way you will have to work together, and I can only see one path benefiting you...

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 4:51 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • what you did before marriage is none of his business but if he won't forgive you it doesn't sound like life will get better

    Answer by admckenzie at 11:26 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.