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how to put trust back in a relationship?

We've hit a road bump... but what can help to trust my SO again?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (4)
  • Your SO needs to be an open book. Everything he says or does. You need to be able to verify.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 9:13 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • First off he's an SO. If he's not a DH then he doesn't owe you anything to rebuild trust. If he's a single man he can do anything he wants, even be with other women bc he's not taken any vows to forsake other women. So trust shouldn't even be an issue. What he's doing is expected of single men. If you marry him and he continues cheating on you then come back and ask. Until then accept him as he is and that he's a normal single man doing what they do.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:19 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Well, the first step to rebuilding trust is to ignore anon :19. Just b/c you haven't taken marriage vows doesn't mean he can sleep with whomever he chooses. If you made a commitment to be together, then expecting fidelity is and not getting it is an issue. I think louise2 pretty much summed it up: he needs to be completely, totally honest with you, and be able to prove to you that he is being honest. He needs to not have any secrets, and if he gets huffy at the idea of you being able to basically know his every move, then that would tell me that he is not willing to be totally honest. My boyfriend has never cheated, but he has no problem with me knowing his every move if I want to, b/c he knows he has nothing to hide. I have trust issues myself, based on a past relationship, so I know how you feel. Just tell him that you need complete honesty, and that eventually, as trust grows again, you will be able to let go a little.
    tropicalmama

    Answer by tropicalmama at 9:25 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • *** SORRY... my mistake for putting "SO"... we ARE married... I love him very much and would NEVER leave him.
    Thanks for the advice "tropicalmama". I figured everyone would just say to let time pass. Which I understand and agree with... I'm just having trouble with this as of now. And I do have trust issues due to past relationships. I guess I just wanted some encouragement to ease my mind. Thanks. :-)
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:03 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

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