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Are second baby showers ok if there is a large gap in age between siblings?

My son is 8 and I'm expecting my second baby by January. My co-workers are graciously throwing me a shower later this year. After my son outgrew his baby items I gave them to friends who needed them. Since then I have not had any need for nursery items or baby things.

Now that DH and I are planning for a new nursery, we are realizing all that we will need all over again. I planned on buying my own nursery furniture, stroller, car seat, play pen, swing and high chair as Walmart has great deals if you buy them at once online.

My mom was mentioning my SIL throwing a shower for my new baby so my friends and family could attend. I would never ask her to do this for me. I feel like it's an imposition on my friends, family, etc. Is this poor taste?

I have no problem with a covered dish dinner for my girlfriends and relatives but I can't see asking for gifts. Isn't it rude to ask for second baby gifts? What's the rule now?


Asked by lilbit022009 at 9:33 AM on Jul. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

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This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • IMO, if someone offers to throw you a shower, that's lovely and it's okay to accept it. But I think it would be very rude to hint around that you want a shower. In my case, my kids are five years apart and different genders. When a friend offered to throw me a shower for #2, she asked what I needed, and I said just clothes.

    Since you said that others have offered to give you a shower, please accept and don't feel guilty about it. Eight years is a big gap, and in many ways, you are starting all over again.

    Congratulations on your new baby!!

    Answer by May-20 at 11:44 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I had a baby shower for my first baby and had another shower for my third baby 3 years later. The way I see it, every baby is a blessing. Each one should be celebrated.

    Answer by ReneeK3 at 9:35 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I had a second baby shower b/c of the age difference, the boys were 7 yo already and my friend used my house to throw a shower for me. I think as long as you aren't the one throwing the party or asking for one, it's not in poor taste. I also asked for hand me downs as an option to people buying me new stuff..although my friends bought hand me downs and then bought a gift too.

    Answer by mschanng at 9:40 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • i don't see why not, especially if they want to do it... i'm having a 2nd baby shower next weekend & my kids will be 3 years apart, my first was a girl & this one is a boy so that's why i'm having another :)

    Answer by josiesmommy00 at 9:46 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • There are 12 yrs between my 3rd and 4th..I was glad to have one lol...I did not own baby item 1 at that point.

    Answer by salexander at 10:06 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Sadly, all showers have evolved into gift grabs and I refuse to take part in them. A party to introduce a new baby is lovely

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:43 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • If someone is doing them for you why not? It's not you asking for gifts, it is them wanting to celebrate you and the new baby! :-) I personally love when people register for gifts that way I KNOW that I am getting them something that they need and want, instead of something they will get a dozen of (except for diapers of course! :-) Congrats!

    Answer by almemoore at 10:51 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Yes, it is ok. I was told if there is more than 5 years between kids a second shower is ok.

    rkoloms: the point of a baby shower is to help the parents get things for their baby. So gifts are a big part of a baby shower, just like a wedding shower.

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 10:52 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I hosted a shower for all 4 of my sisters children they are ages 8, 6, 4 and 2. We give all the babies in our family a shower since all need things. Some follow some rule someone they don't know made up we follow what works for our family and friends. Those who have a problem with simply can choose to not come those that love you and want to help you will show up. Have fun with your new baby and at your shower.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:43 AM on Jul. 23, 2009