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Who takes care of everything?

I make and take the kids to all of the appointments. and almost every activity, event and everything else. (We have 3 kids,13,10,and 3)we work together with the cleaning of the house. I take care of all of the bills and shopping doing errends,stuff like that. We both work full time, (he comutes My job is more local) I have had it with being the only responsible person.this has caused many dissagreements in our house,to the point where i've told him I'm already doing everthing myself so what is the point of this relationship.He then asked if i would go to counseling so we can work on this,I will go but you need to set up the appt. and find someone I can't do all of it anymore. That was 4 months ago,he didn't do it, and we are back to square one,ugh.How do I get him to understand?

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 10:25 AM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (6)
  • i take my daughter to all of her doctor's appointments, do the grocery shopping, pay the bills, clean the house, dothe laundry by myself... i'm a sahm so i don't mind taking on all of this while my dh works 10 hour shifts....but after i have my son, i'm getting a part time job so my dh will have to help some, like start a load of laundry or whatever
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:28 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Tell him that taking on half the chores means taking on half of the "run around" that you do. Make a grocery list and make him do the grocery shopping. Take turns taking the kids to thier activities. Maybe he can pay the bills that are to be paid online or over the phone and you can take the ones that needed to be done personally or vise versa. Counceling is a very good idea, but you need to be consistant about it or it doesnt do any good. Good Luck!
    angieluv

    Answer by angieluv at 10:39 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I know what you mean... They only have the one thing on their minds and it's work. Whereas we are juggling everything. My dh helps when I tell him exactly what needs to be done, but then it is still my responsiblity to tell it to him. Why is that the situation??? I know what you mean and it's not about being the one to do the chore, it's taking full ownership responsibility over the chore so you don't have to worry over it. I'm in the same boat as you...we both work outside the home and he's actually home for the summer..so I feel like it's worst.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:54 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • how do you figure you are doing everything if he works and helps provide and by your own admission he helps cleaning the house? What more do you want from him? You said the man commutes. You want him to give up his job in this recession to do what, take a kid to a dr appt? You are not being reasonable. Good grief. Why always find the negative? Dwell on the positive and work out the negative but be reasonable. The man is doing his share yet you cry you are doing it all. That's just being self centered and thinking you are a martyr yet sounding foolish bc you also say he does a lot. Re-assess things and give him his props. If you don't some other woman will then you WILL be doing it all by yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 10:55 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Try talking to him. Split the bills up and you pay some and he pay some. That way it feels as its not all on you. Now getting him to remember I do not know.. I am trying this one myself. I understand how you feel. All my money goes to bills and it seems like his gets spent on what ever it wants. Try this and chores... maybe try to split those up. Its a start... start slow be reasonable and see where that goes. But with nesting going on and etc it could make it seem worse than it is... plus you know the things get done.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:04 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I feel u I have a full time job and a part time one a still do it ALL sometimes I think I am more of his mama than his wife
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:10 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

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