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I wrote a letter to a friend about her lies... is this to harsh?

I wish I had the words to express myself at this current moment, but the truth is I do not.
I have been supporting you "pregnancies" since your "first born" daughter in high school and I have finally came to the point in my life where I realized that I can no longer do this, its unhealthy, and I feel that I am hurting you more by going along with the lies and deceit, than saying how I actually feel about the situation.
I will not go as far as to say that you have never been pregnant before, and that you actually haven’t experienced that type of loss, but I do think the attention you got from the loss of that pregnancy sent you on a road needing more attention, thus, telling more lies.
Pregnancy is not something one should take lightly, or lie about. It’s a human life, and lying about life to hurt others is wrong.
CON'T

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:45 AM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Just for Fun

Answers (9)
  • I think one day Amber, you will make a fine mother, but it’s just not your time right now. But just because it’s not your time, doesn’t mean that you should make-up a pregnancy for attention, love, or support. People will support and love you with our without being “pregnant”. But lying about things and lying to people is what causes them to walk away, and no longer support you or believe you.
    I said years ago, “I will believe Amber is pregnant when I see a baby and a birth certificate”. Years ago I should have put a stop to it, and be honest with you and said that to your face, not behind your back.
    CON"T
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I can no longer extend any condolences, or apologies for your losses, as I cannot see how it’s possible to have lost over 15 pregnancies in the past 5 years.
    Motherhood is a big step in life Amber, and I don’t think of it as a game, it takes courage, compassion, responsibility, support, love, and conviction to stand up and be a mother at such a young age, any age!
    I would think very long and hard about talking to a doctor about the NEED to feel needed and pregnant before you think about actually having a baby, and mothering a child. I am sorry that I am being crude, and judgmental, but being a mother, I do not find it funny to joke about the loss of a Childs life, or lie about pregnancy any further. It’s an immature game, that teens play and I will take no part in it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:46 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • You would have to know her history to get the full picture but here is a little bit of it-
    OP HERE-
    In high school she convinced everyone she had a daughter, this turned out to be a big lie after confermation from her own mother.
    since than she has been "pregnant" for no more than 12 weeks almost to the date about 3-6 times a year. Infact in my pregnancy alone, she has been "pregnant" 3 times and I havent even had the baby yet.
    I think she likes the attention she gets from the "loss" of the baby.
    I just feel like I can no longer take part in the games, and I am hurting her playing into them.
    But I kind of feel like I am being to honest with her.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Hi. I think it's longer than it needs to be. Try writing down in number form what happened and what's important that makes you feel used.

    If it's too longer it won't affect her for sure cause she'll get lost in the translation of it all.

    You can even write it how ever many ways or times and hold on to it and verbally just say no.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Personally if you dont like what she is doing separate yourself from her..and it may not be right to you what she is doing, but you really shouldnt judge her. IF you hold her to your standards, then she can hold you to hers.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:51 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • What she's doing is wrong, no doubt, but I had a friend who always thought she was pregnant, and finally it happened. She will get what she wishes for, but, I'd see what you can do, as a friend, to get her some help. IF she actualy does become pregnant and has the baby, it sounds like she would be the type to have munchousin (however u spell it) syndrome, since she likes attention so much. You can seperate urself from her, to avoid seeing anymore of her problems, but tell a member of her family to keep an eye out for what I mentioned.
    mumma28

    Answer by mumma28 at 12:08 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I think you were out of line. I also think when you start off a letter saying that you have no words then follow with paragraphs and paragraphs of words your credibility is questioned already. What's it any of your business anyway. Leave the girl alone. What she does is her business and you are being judgmental. you are not her mom and certainly not a good friend if you say stuff like that to her. I'm just glad you are not a friend in my group of friends.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:26 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I wouldn't bother with a letter. What's the point? Just tell her in person that you can't support her anymore and you know how much she longs for a child and you hope she gets that when her time comes.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:27 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Despite some of the other people's statements on here.. (maybe they're pregnant 500 times a year too).. I liked your letter. I doubt anyone is honest to her about her actions. This may be the wake up call she needs. I knew people that did this. Nobody believed them when they finally really did get pregnant. Its not something to joke around about.. its not even humorous. I could never fake a pregnancy or miscarriage.. its lack of character and conscious to do that.

    starmoonlight

    Answer by starmoonlight at 2:25 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

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