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A unemotional, non affectionate man, am I overreacting?

Feel free to answer anonymously, but anybody else have a man like this. He feels like I'm smothering him when I want to be close to him when he's home. He always says he needs his space. When I talk to him about things he just doesn't get it, if I get him to talk. When I'm upset, or crying he just walks away. Am I overreacting? I'm feeling like I might have to leave, but I'm so in love with him & we have a 4 month old together. He's just been different since we had our daughter. Oh yeah & now he's saying he doesn't want to get married & he was the one always talking about marrying me. I have 2 other kids that aren't his that he helps me with. I'm confused.
Oh yeah, & this is his 3rd child, he has 2 from previous relationships that live with their moms.

 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 11:48 AM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (7)
  • Could it be that in the previous relationships things were fine and then they had the babies and then they changed so he is going to get you before you get him?My husband and I got pregnant like 2 months after being together and then I told him,"Don't marry me JUST BECAUSE we have a son.Marry me because you love ME" We have now been married for 4 years(and together for 5-our oldest child is 4)
    maidmomma

    Answer by maidmomma at 3:20 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • If he's saying he doesn't want to get married then that is probably a tell-tale sign.
    If he's open to couples counseling, there's still hope. Sounds like he's stopped responding to your needs -- if he's willing to start again once he realizes that he has slipped, then again there's still hope. If not, I would prepare to either leave or stay in the relationship until you're ready to leave.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:52 AM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • My SO is military and wouldn't show emotion to save his life. If the subject of conversation is something he's not interested in he just walks away (rude to say the least!) He's not into touchy feely so there goes intimacy but the thing is I like the jerk and have to accept him as he is. If you can accept yours as is then maybe you can have something but it's not easy to do. Most ppl need closeness but some men just can't give it. As for marriage, if he doesn't want it then I wouldn't push it.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 12:10 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • He needs to get fixed. I hate men who spread their seed with every women he sleeps with. That is just wrong. That should tell you a lot about him and maybe you should think twice on marring a men like this.
    He has change his mind so move one. Sounds like he has found someone else, sorry.
    gammie

    Answer by gammie at 12:11 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • This is kind of a tough question. My SO and I used to be in your exact shoes (minus the children)--- I need affection and attention and he would push me away if I tried to get a kiss or hug... it was pretty bad. And same like you, when I would try to talk to him, he wouldn't understand it and wouldn't talk to me about his own opinions... makes it hard to fix a problem that way. But much like yourself, I was (and still am) crazy about him and always had been. However, I left and went to my mother's for a few days... we talked like we weren't going to last... but said we'd try. And he did a complete 360--- he's not even the same man. I'm more in love with him now then I was before. So I would tell you to do something similiar... but I don't know what to think about your DH since he's saying he doesn't want to marry you.... I just really don't know. I would keep trying to get other peoples' opinion on this. Sry I can't help more.
    ReganLawson

    Answer by ReganLawson at 1:16 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Truth is, he's not going to marry you. No matter how much you love him and want him to be affectionate to you, he's not going to do it....once you begin to grasp reality, you'll begin to feel better and get a better outlook on life and move you and the kids out.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:03 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Thanks for your answer maidmomma, that could be it because his first baby mom ran off with his child, & he did tell me his second started having worse problems after they had the baby. That could be it.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 4:44 PM on Jul. 23, 2009