If you contacted an ex to tell them you were sorry for how you treated them. You have felt bad about it for years & just wanted to clear the air. You did not want to have something happen to you & feel like you left things unsaid with that person.
Would it matter if the people were ex husbands or fiances (meaning serious relationships.
You know your S/O would be upset if they knew, but it has nothing to do with them. You wanted to say you were sorry. You did not contact them saying oh I love you, miss you, want you back. Just I am sorry for everything. You do not want any sort of real conact with these people or a relationship, just to know you did the right thing (at least in your own mind).
So do you tell your S/O & risk the issues that may arise. Or do you keep quite & just feel better about the outcome to yourself?
Asked by Anonymous at 1:17 PM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Relationships
Answer by Dannee at 1:22 PM on Jul. 23, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 1:24 PM on Jul. 23, 2009
Answer by missanc at 1:25 PM on Jul. 23, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 1:25 PM on Jul. 23, 2009
Answer by PURPULbutterfly at 1:25 PM on Jul. 23, 2009
Answer by Dannee at 1:27 PM on Jul. 23, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 1:28 PM on Jul. 23, 2009
I would not say anything to your SO. Why say something to him if you know he is going to get upset over something he does not understand? He did not understand the dynamics of your past relationships, so he wont understand why you want to contact him. Some things are better left unsaid. Your not having an affair, your not planning on cheating on him, you are doing something to help yourself heal. You have emotional baggage left over from this past relationship, & you feel you need to let go of this emotional baggage. I say go for it. If you have incredible guilt over not telling your husband, then tell him. But it will only cause problems. Your not trying to be sneaky, you just want/need to let go of something that has been bothering you. The only way to let go of it is to confront it, & get it over with. It will not cause any harm to your relationship. If it's just one simple e-mail, i say go for it.
Answer by samurai_chica at 1:39 PM on Jul. 23, 2009
I think it is extremely mature of a person who is willing to apologize for their actions, even if it is years down the road. It seems to me like you SO is immature and does not realize that your actions must have been so dramatic to make you feel bad all this time. If he can not understand that you are in a better place because of him and just need to make peace then I would not tell him. It sounds like you are okay with where you are. Maybe in a couple of weeks you might want to mention that your actions were dragging you down and you feel like a better person you were able to apologize to him. I am glad you feel better and I hope things go well for you.
Answer by krissyvelazquez at 1:44 PM on Jul. 23, 2009
Answer by Anonymous at 2:24 PM on Jul. 23, 2009