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Kids are beating me down

All my kids do is fight (DS is 7 DD is 4).
Between the kids, my lazy hubby and the dog I am always busting my ass. Everything I have gets broken. I spend 3 days doing a deep clean on the whole house, I go to the grocery store for an hour and its like a bomb went off. You can't tell I just spent 3 days on my knees scrubbing. I feel like Im losing my mind. I've spanked, Ive put them in time out, Ive restricted them to their rooms and it changes nothing. As soon as I turn my back another war breaks out. I send them to their rooms and they scream and throw things at the walls. I put DD in time out because she broke me end table so she walks over and smacks DS in the face with hubbys steel toed boot. Im dying and have no idea what to do. Help me?


Asked by Anonymous at 3:04 PM on Jul. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • Start with their rooms. Have them go in and pick up and straighten up on their own. Stand over them if you have to. Dont leave them to their own devices. When they are done, have them work in the LR. I know its harder than actually doing it yourself, but you will resent them everytime if you have to do the work and hubby....well, dont get me started on him. He at least needs to spend some time backing you up. Tell him what you have told your children and the rules youve made for them when he gets home, then let him spend a little bit of time enforcing YOUR rules. His rules wont matter because hes not there during the day. This way, you and him are united. Youre children are not respecting you and your consistency will being to allow that to happen. Then they need to respect one another. Hitting, pushing, biting..whatever...needs to be addressed. I dont know what punishment you want to use, but make it firm and consistent. GL.

    Answer by momofsaee at 5:08 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I am still wondering how you made it through your first one to have another child - I have a 20 month old and I am losing my mind. This is SO Much harder than I thought.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:05 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • oh man, you need to stat: throwing away those toys there throwing, make them clean up the bathroom, get them down on all four hands and knees and clean the house, make them go to bed earlier, the lazy hubby thing im also working on so dont ask me there, make them get rid of a toy thats there fav when they do something, time outs and busting isnt working anymore, you need to take there soul sister, no tv, no video games, give them crap todo outside more, take ther clothes (dang no clean clothes well ou better put some of these toys up so i can get to the washer)..

    Answer by ArlieBeeMee at 3:12 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • first of all kick your husbands ass, whats the point of being married if you are a single parent. Secondly if the kids throw their toys, then they loose them for good. All they are required is a room to sleep in, even a matress is a luxuray.

    Answer by Zakysmommy at 3:17 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • They are plenty old enough to clean, when they get into an argument TOGETHER and get in trouble, make them get themselves out of trouble TOGETHER. They fight, then they will do a chore TOGETHER and as many chores as it takes until they can complete one without arguing. I do this with my kids. It was a pain in my butt the first few times I had to do this with my kids, but now it only takes one or two jobs to get the argument over with, they have learned to cooperate with eachother, and my house is a little bit cleaner.
    My kids are currently 10, 8, 6, and 5. My 5yo has been doing chores since he could take stuff out himself. There is no reason for you to be busting your ass alone. Make that family of your's get off thier butts and help.

    Answer by 3gifts.from.god at 3:18 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • When I was young, my mom took away our my Snacking privileges when I was bad because she already took our clothes and toys..

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 3:18 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Go to and see if reruns of SuperNanny are available on line or to Blockbuster and see if you can buy some tapes of the show.

    Take away all toys, Separate the kids to other sides of the house. tell them if they go to each other for any reason or take a toy no matter whose or watch tv or use computer or ipod that they will be further punished. Step ladder punish. Plus get into counselling with your kids. You deserve better care yourself. You're not a bad mom you're a mom with kids who want to be boss. But they need to believe that you know you are the boss. And they dont.

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:19 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Day camp

    Answer by rkoloms at 4:36 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I understand. I really do. My kids arent quite that bad, but I do understand the destructive thing. First of all...stop busting your ass. STOP IT. If you like things neat and orderly, then thats great, but you dont need to deep clean 3 days a week. Thats insane with kids who are going to mess it up. Even on their BEST day, kids are messy. Then you need to be consistent. You are spending SO much time cleaning that you dont have the energy to make them be respectful of one another, their property and YOU, most of all. Training children takes tons of time and patience and if youre working that hard at cleaning up after them, you cant be spending that much time working with them. I know what its like to have a somewhat neat home and come back from being out and its destroyed. My 15 yr old with my 3 yr old can trash a house in 1 hour. Solid. Thats not to mention the damage that my 11 yr old and 7 yr old do in the kitchen....cont.

    Answer by momofsaee at 5:05 PM on Jul. 23, 2009