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For those of you who have stepkids?

I don't like when my dh acts so different when they are here as if he wants to give them everything, I mean there is nothing wrong with that those are his kids but they hardly call or visit only when they want or feeling guilty bc my dh is constantly crying about how they don't keep in touch aaarrrggg it pisses me off I tell him why don't you just back off let them miss you give them their space but your always on their butts. Am I wrong butting in I never butted in before it just makes me mad that they treat him like this he is my dh. I mean they come over and live like this is their home which is fine but damn when they are gone they are gone.
Sometimes I wish it wasn't this way but what can you do just go with it....Thanks!

Answer Question
 
Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:11 PM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Teens (13-17)

Answers (7)
  • OMG I am not alone, my DH never hears from his 17 DS unless he wants something. When he does come over to visit, he just does what he wants to do and my DH doesnt really say anything because he hardly gets to see him these days. . It has been few and few visits over the past few years. Now my SS thinks his dad should give him the world car, ins, gas... It is so hard, my DH has gotten tougher because he is now realizing that he does only call when he wants something. It gets easier. It is so hard for me because it breaks my heart that his son treats him like that.
    dillonsma

    Answer by dillonsma at 3:26 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Eventually, your dh will see the real side of his kids and make his own decisions on how to handle them. In the meantime, don't get yourself upset over a matter that will eventually play out soon.
    mom2mybabes

    Answer by mom2mybabes at 3:53 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • All I have to say is Kudos to your hubby for trying to be a father even though his kids put no effort. Sorry they are the way they are:(
    KalebsMommee

    Answer by KalebsMommee at 4:52 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Wait...did you say your step kids, or were you talking about mine? lol Mine are the same way. Never contact their dad unless they want something. He is finally seeing the light though. His dd called to tell us she was in trouble and wanted money to pay her fines so she woulfd not have to do community service. He said...'Do you live with me?' no... 'Did I raise you? Do you think it is my fault you did this thing?' no. and no... He told her to get the money from her mother, as it was pretty clear to him that it was her fault. He told her he would have busted her butt and told them to lock her up. Do the crime, do the time! I was all like YAY!!! Finally. Now though they do call him more, and they came and stayed for a week this summer. They never come see us anymore. I told dh not to fret, they are teens and they have a life now, friends they go places with etc...
    So tell your dh not to push, let them come around, they will even
    texanmommy

    Answer by texanmommy at 8:05 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Best not step between a dad and his CHILDREN...they were HIS children BEFORE they were your STEP children..IF he is a GOOD dad he will stand with his children for that YOU should be proud...After he helps they accept the fact that its now him,them and YOU too...Then he will have plenty of time to put him foot down and break them into new rules around the new house...But its not a surprise that he had CHILDREN attached to him so now that you are the adult---DEAL with it dear..and you will have a great family in the end.....LacyLady
    lacylady

    Answer by lacylady at 8:39 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • ok..whats a dh??
    dayna8

    Answer by dayna8 at 11:29 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I would be happy my husband wanted to spend time with his kids. We are always chasing our kids for their affection when they get past a certian age. If you go off on your husband for him wanting to spend time with his kids then it could create more problems. I know you are trying to protect your DH but he will not see it as such. His kids are just that kids, even if they are teenagers they are still kids. Stop telling him things like make them miss you, that can backfire on you. All you can do is be there for him and let him handle it the best way he can. He sounds like a great Dad to me. We need a lot more like him who WANT to spend time with their children.
    pnwmom

    Answer by pnwmom at 4:16 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

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