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To divorce or not to divorce???

Will my boys hate me If I decide to leave their dad? My husband and I constantly fight. Lately he has been accusing me on cheating on him, which has NO grounds at all and he has admitted it. He finds it funny and I think it is sick. He sees our marriage as a one way street...his way. He tells me over and over again that because hemakes teh money he it is his and not mine and the boys. I took on a babysitting job to fix that and he tried to claim that money as well...he lost. He is very emotionally abusive and controlling in this marriage and manipulative. I have asked him many times to get counseling withme and he refuses and says if I feel the need to talk to someone then I should go myself but he is not. I am exhausted and feeling done with this relationship. I want to be the best mom I can be for my boys, and I feel like he is holding me back in many ways. Help, what should I do. I love my boys so

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Asked by happymommy72 at 5:24 PM on Jul. 23, 2009 in General Parenting

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Answers (7)
  • they probably wont be thrilled at first but eventually im sure they will understand. they may be much older before that happens but you should do what you think is best.

    Answer by SThompson21 at 5:25 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Oh honey, DIVORCE. Your sons need to see that this is NOT How to treat a woman and that you are strong enough to not take this shit and teach them to be good strong boys also.

    Answer by maxsmom11807 at 5:31 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • They would probably be relieved that they aren't in a household where there is constant fighting and tension. It is not a good environment where the man is being disrespectful to the woman. Is that how you want your children to learn how to treat woman?

    Answer by tyfry7496 at 5:48 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Are you religious? If not, sorry this prob won't help. I talked to my Pastor about this yesterday and he said God hates divorce (from the Bible) and there is only one exception listed in the Bible (cheating). He also said that women should not be door matts and if you have done everything you can and he wants to walk away let him. He also agreed that abuse is a good reason and you stated yes there is abuse, so you have grounds. I come from a divorced family and yes it effected me A LOT, btu not everyone is like me. I think that if you just reassure them you love them and there was no other choice and in the long run this is what's best, then they should be fine.

    Answer by ktnbags at 5:52 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I am a Christian and don't believe in divorce with the exception of an affair and abuse. You husband is emotionally abusive to you. You don't want your kids to grow up seeing that it does affect them. I hope you can find some peace in this and for your kids. If your husband is as bad as you say your kids will probably be relieved.


    Answer by Anonymous at 6:08 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Before you press the divorce button, you should let your husband know how your feeling and that your serious, your love for him is in jeopardy unless there can be some changes between you and him. Marriages are two way streets and if he's doing something wrong, you need to plumb your soul and see if maybe your also doing something wrong. Giving up on someone you promised forever shouldnt be so easy a decision, but made over a long course of time. Perhaps a separation should be suggested, just to see if he can learn to appreciate you in your absence. In any case, if there is no more love, you really need to speak to a therapist and get your thoughts straight. A forum is no place for advice.

    Answer by Gothiclovesick at 6:18 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Ladies thank u so much for your advice, suggestions and support. I agree with all of these posts. I am religious, however my husband is not and that makes it difficult. I pray about us all the time and he laughs and says is it working for you? I say yes, because I feel that God talks to me about it all the time in so many different ways. I am going to be meeting with my pastor and his wife because we are close and I truly trust them with this. Time will tell. I know I am a strong woman and would provide so much love for my boys even if I have to do it on my own. I know then is when my husband will step up to the plate and be the father he needs to be which is a shame but if that's what it takes and that's the way he wants it I will do that for my boys. Thank you all again!!! :)

    Answer by happymommy72 at 4:59 PM on Jul. 29, 2009

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