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husband and issues

my husband and I have been married a few months. in his family he is the baby and also a momas boy. I know men have to get used to being married and the responsibility that come with that. Sometimes its very annoying. I have to always ask him to take out the trash, pick up after himself, and even put on clean socks. After work he just watch tv, play the game or get online. When Im cleaning he sits on the couch and chill. I try not to say it often because I dont want it to become a nagging thing. What should I do? Should I just give him time to adjust, or should I try to break him out of 23 years of bad habits. Im 22, but he says im to mature for my age, I say hes to lazy for his. I have to be the mature and responsible one because I have a 2 year old daughter. I need advice from you ladies that have been married to men who can still sometimes act like a kid. hes a good man, but this is our issue.

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 7:22 PM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (5)
  • Not all men need time to adjust to marriage or being responcible. If he isn't now- nothing is going to MAKE him responcible. He sounds lazy and nagging probably won't change it. You must decide if you want to live with it or pick your battles. But I am telling you- men do not "grow up" like people think. if you don't love ALL of him, bad habits and everything- maybe go see someone like a third party. but asking or waiting for him to change- is crazy- usually only a baby does that.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:30 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • my SO and i have lived together for almost 4 years...he has his ups and downs. he gets laid off periodically in his line of work and will be home for 1-2 months at a time...playing xbox live. very obnoxious. i will have to man the baby and the house and the whole time i hear him say, "san, what r u making for lunch?" "can you clean the bathroom?" "why dont i have clean boxers?" i used to get so frustrated that i would sit and cry or walk around with the biggest attitude...and thats why i had to stop filling in for his momma. now my responses are like..."um, plans with my friends, do you want me to pick something up for you bc im not making lunch and dinner!" "it would be very easy for you to clean the bathroom if you could manage getting out of your chair." "bc i dont keep track of how many pairs of boxers you have, do know if i have clean panties???" i feel a great relief of pressure not having to be the only responsible one.
    brodysmama23

    Answer by brodysmama23 at 7:32 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • and yes, i think men do grow up to an extent, not the same as women...but in due time, he should become more productive and mature, if he is a good man. give him some time, not too much.
    brodysmama23

    Answer by brodysmama23 at 7:34 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • My fiance works 96 hours a week so I dont expect hi mto do a lot but he does help and I appreciate when he does personally I clean I take care of the baby I pack him a lunch I do laundry because I want to and you know hes gone from 6am-10pm but usually when he doesnt work that much he does help i usually set the trash outside when i want him to take it to the dumpster he folds towels when they are sitting on the couch in the laundry basket he puts dishes up its just a matter of letting him know I need help and he knows now hes young still trainable though lol
    HollyRose

    Answer by HollyRose at 7:37 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • My husband of 2 1/2 years HAS grown up (a little). It honestly took several sessions of arguments over who was doing the majority of the housework (me) and who was taking things for granted (him) and eventually the nagging DID pay off to a certain degree. He no longer simply sits idle while I do three loads of dishes (he will offer after I do the first 2, most times), he has stopped arguing w/ me when I ask him to take out the trash, he has begun doing the little things that make life a bit more pleasant. But beware - the nagging CAN be, in an odd way, a bit addicting. The problem I am finding is that, since I got results, I have begun nagging over LITTLE things that don't necessarily warrant it (like a phrase he uses that bugs me, or things like that). And that is when nagging becomes really harmful to the relationship. It is a conscious effort for me to stop it lately, but I am trying. Keep all that in mind...
    Iskkra

    Answer by Iskkra at 12:18 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

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