Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

How to deal with an over bearing Unreasonable Mother in Law? HELP!

She's unreasonable. She Ruined Her Son's Wedding Shower. Since she had Family there. She let people Eat at the time she wanted. Though she was just A Guest. Shr "dogge"d her former DH. She was Married to him for 7 years! But Said Today is our 51st Wedding Anniversary! ( I don't think his current wife of 30 years Thought this). So At this Shower. She told Everyone to Eat. The Party was from 2-11pm. She let Everyone Eat by 3. All were Gone by 5pm! NO Cake ,Gifts, Fun Etc... She ruines everything! She makes up Stories! Everything has to be all about her! She lives alone with her Cat! But wants her son for Her! She Causes so much troubles! Ruining this Marriage! Ruining the New bride's Life & health! This has gone on for SO long! Why won't she leave her son be? She also has 2 DD's. But Has to pesture the son. She's demanding & needy.. What can be done? This marriage is in jeopardy as is the new wife's Health! What has to be done?

Answer Question

Asked by Anonymous at 7:37 PM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (8)
  • I think your husband needs to step up to the plate and be a man and tell his mother that he loves her but she needs to respect your wishes, and your privacey, and to treat you with respect.

    Answer by marlene243510 at 7:42 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • WOW and I thought mine was need to stand your ground as hard as it may be she should not be running your lives AT ALL! The weeding WOW I would have lost it big time but tell your hubby how you feel and have him talk to her if you want or try it together and see what she says if she don't seem to care about your feeling cut ties for a bit and maybe she will respond that way, I did I just cut off the relationship for almost a month and she did back off and seemed to get the picture but now we have a decent relationship but she knows that I am married to her son and she is just in mother and not his wife... GOOD LUCK MaMa!!!

    Answer by Korysmom96 at 7:43 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Also you tell him that you married him not his mother, and if it continues that you will walk, life is to short to live like that.

    Answer by marlene243510 at 7:44 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • you should tell your husband that he needs to do talk to his mom. other than that I wouldnt deal with her at all. when the husband ask why, i would tell him.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:45 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Oh hun my future MIL is the same way, she hates me because I stole her "little boy" My fiance had to tell her hes grown up with a family now and he makes his own decisions for us! And then she has told him she will "try" to accept me in the family but my fiance told her no SHE WILL! Its just a matter of your man needing to step up and be a man and tell his momma he isnt a little boy anymore and that you are his life now Good luck I know the feeling if you need anything else feel free to send me a message

    Answer by HollyRose at 7:49 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • im so sorry. i have a mother-in-law just like that. my husband and i got married on april fools day a few years ago and mine thought it was a joke. and now that we have our son she acts like hes hers. what finally helped for us was that she got a boyfriend and now she dosent have time for us. you might just have to mean and tell her to back off. good luck. i understand.

    Answer by cmtjenn at 7:54 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Moving 1800 miles away worked for me.

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:01 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • You very well could be talking about my MIL. She does the same thing - got divorced from DH's dad and began using DH as a "substitute husband" in some sick psychological way. Now she resents me almost like I am the "other woman". She is crazy, ruined our wedding too, including the honeymoon (called DH 16 times in a row crying that we hadn't used the decorations she had made us - we had - and then hung up on him, then called back, etc.) What makes our situation worse is that MIL is crippled and needs LOTS of help (can't even clean her own damn house) so DH and I are just planning a move out of state so we can be free of the guilt trips and constant care-mongering, including the money, and cigarettes, she begs for. She has others close by so DH isn't leaving her "stranded" - but we know that a woman like that doesn't just CHANGE, so we are going to have to make the change. Sounds like you will, too.

    Answer by Iskkra at 12:10 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

Join CafeMom now to contribute your answer and become part of our community. It's free and takes just a minute.