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New at this.. looking 2 c if anyone else is going threw the same? or have any advice

How to explain? I'm 31w&5d prego. on my 2nd marriage. I have 3 children with my ex husband. An my husband now wanted a child of his own, an i wanted him to have the same joy i have with mine, so here i am, nearing the end of my pregnancy, an he walks out!!! an is living with his girlfriend!! He moved out May 11th, the day after mothers day i might add!! Yes i filed for divorce, not wanting to... but felt i had to, so i could "move on" . But i still love him dearly, an want him to come home. Anyone else going threw the same? or have any advice on how to "MOVE ON"?

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Aulrich

Asked by Aulrich at 8:32 PM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (9)
  • See if you can find a local divorce recovery class through a local medical group or church. My dad left my mom just before their 25th anniversary....she filed for divorce even though she wanted him back. It really helped her to get past her pain......although I think it still takes time.....but helped her to MOVE ON....

    My heart is with you. Good luck with your new baby.
    ohwrite

    Answer by ohwrite at 8:35 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I'm soryy to hear that, but you gotta stay strong for your babies!
    Albi1623

    Answer by Albi1623 at 8:37 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • keep in mind he not only walked out on you but his child.... stay focused on your children, sometimes guys get the fear in them of parenting and bail... you are the strong one... hold tight to that... let him go... if he comes back, keep your head about you and make him work for your respect and the love of his child.... I wish you the very best...
    BlessingsBegin

    Answer by BlessingsBegin at 8:39 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Thank you all soooo much!!! i really needed an outside opion, rather then ones from family.. Where the topic of my grandpa payin him a visit, I do think he's afraid of the whole parenting thing, All of this came out of nowhere, something he would never do.. But wanted to send a thank you.. I will look into the church thing, sounds like a great idea..
    Aulrich

    Answer by Aulrich at 8:45 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Google "alienation of affection" in some states legally you can sue his mistress, if she knew you were married. Last girl to do it got $500,000.
    NightOwlMama

    Answer by NightOwlMama at 9:54 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Wow. I think you made the right choice filing for divorce. Any "man" who would do that to his wife, much less his PREGNANT wife, isn't someone you need in your life. I think you just need to keep on moving forward. Of course you can't change your feelings overnight and time with heal your heart. But really, think of your child (plus your other three) and the mess you will be putting them through if you wait around for this guy. If you have daughters, what kind of woman are you portraying to them? Not a strong one who believes in her self worth! You sound like a kind-hearted, smart person who has alot to offer the world. Move on!
    My4LuvBugs07

    Answer by My4LuvBugs07 at 10:19 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • what state allows divorces when you are pregnant?
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:32 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • wait a minute. you alreday filed for divorce? look if its over it over, but how do you know this chick on the side isnt just some temporary thing? I know couples who have been through waay worse. If it were me i wouldnt file soo soon. Legal seperation is just as good for now. Im not saying wait on him to get his shit together, im saying divorce is a big deal. Focus on your baby, live your life, and you never kno he may want to be a family again. BTW im aware most of you wont agree and i completely get that, i just thought she should here another side.
    jchris

    Answer by jchris at 10:56 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Here we can file while pregnant, but it wont be final till after the baby has arrived. An she knew very much he was married. She has emailed me anytime he tries to come around, so i've had to take measures there to protect myself, against such a hateful woman. An from him, he wants his cake, but cant handle if he sees me around town at night, saying going out at night is no place for a pregnant woman, now remind you, Im not hot trottin it in the bars, but having dinner, an camping out at a girlfriends house while my other children are with there dad, isnt really out all night, but non the less, I'm making sure he gets a good dose of reality, if gone is what he wants, then gone is what he gets!
    Aulrich

    Answer by Aulrich at 12:44 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

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