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Step daughter coming over at 8:30 pm with new boyfriend. Am I being rude?

I am all for meeting a new friend. But during the week it bothers me when people want to have friends over after 8. I usually take my bath at 7:30 and am in my Pjs between 8:30 and 9. She tells her dad at 7 she will be right over. I hate last minute stuff during the week. I have to get up early.

Is it rude to excuse myself so I can get to bed? She always does stuff like this and it is late. I am tired!!!!


Asked by Anonymous at 9:06 PM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Relationships

This question is closed.
Answers (11)
  • I'd say "Nice to meet you" hit the shower & bed. It's not rude and she and her new man can have a few minutes with your DH alone.

    Answer by Austinsmom35 at 11:22 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I'm kind of like you....I prefer to do things earlier in the day.....or on the weekends. If she's young, she's probably just excited about introducing her boyfriend, and not mature enough to be considerate. Her dad should really tell her that you guys go to bed early, and that you want to meet him but you'd like to do it when you have more time to visit. It's kind of late for that now. I'd probably tolerate it, and talk to him about setting firmer ground rules for visits.

    Answer by ohwrite at 9:09 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I am not understanding, Does she live with you? I think that her father should be setting better rules and ya during the week it is hard to have company later at night. I am early to bed kind of person also and I am up between 3-5 am. Well I don't think your being rude i think that you are taking care of you and that's what should come first. So good for you for taking care of you.

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:14 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • ONE night in your life you can't give to someone else sharing something important? Yes I think you are being rude and selfish

    Answer by admckenzie at 9:16 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I say put on a robe over your pj's and go to bed when you normally would. I don't think it's rude.

    Answer by Christina807 at 9:33 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Make the extra effort for your step daughters sake. It is one night.

    Answer by say_tay at 9:37 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • If for only one night, let it go. Don't make a habit of it and tell her the last minute stuff isn't going to fly anymore.

    Answer by coutterhill at 10:05 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • if its one nite then suck it up and drive on at least she wants u to meet her new bf maybe hes decent and shes really excited about him id sty up 1/2 past ur normal bed time and then exscuse urself and explain to the new bf that u have to get up early for work. let ur dh play host after that

    Answer by rainmommy at 10:10 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I would definitely make it a point to sit down and meet the boyfriend. Anytime my kids try to share some part of their lives with me, I am all ears.
    If it seems they are going to stay until 10 or so, I might excuse myself at some point, say, "It was great to meet you but I have to get up very early. I really need to get to bed. But please come back another time so we can hang out." And leave it at that. That way, you gave some time to her and you don't get to bed super late. Let your husband stay up and chat. But yes, I think it is somewhat rude to turn down your child when she is trying to share a part of her life with you.

    Answer by My4LuvBugs07 at 10:16 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • That is a talk you need to have with your husband, since he agreed to the visit. No, it's not rude if this is something she does all the time. You can make an exception once in a while, but you have to stand firm on your house rules. I would be mad too if someone came over for any reason after I'm ready for bed. People have to respect that.

    Answer by hopelessnance at 10:30 PM on Jul. 23, 2009