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Really Strange but here goes...

I have reason to believe my dad has been sending anonymous letters to me about my DD's father. I'm married and both me my husband have a decent relationship with this guy. He's great to my daughter. BUT he does have a shady past. My dad has never met DD's father (he refuses to) and hasn't spoken to me in over a week because he saw DD and her dad eating at a restaurant together. This is about the 6th letter I've gotten over a course of three years, and I've never considered that it could be my dad sending them but now I'm starting to see things that I've never noticed. I don't know how to handle it. Confront him, and make things even more strained between us, or just let it go... ??? This is STRANGE but I really believe it is my dad and his wife behind the letters...

 
MarleighsMommy

Asked by MarleighsMommy at 9:26 PM on Jul. 23, 2009 in Relationships

Level 6 (104 Credits)
This question is closed.
Answers (9)
  • I would bring up the letters in the next conversation with your father, like in a joking way, but do it to where he sees how childish he is being. It very much sounds like he (or his wife) is behind the letters, so when you next speak to him, I would wait until the end of the conversation or when it becomes heated and say something to the effect of, "Well, I guess I'll hear more from you in your next letter,". It will not put him on the spot about it, but it WILL shock him and maybe even help him to see how silly he is for being "anonymous" when you obviously see through it, and it might even open the lines of communication. He won't HAVE to respond, but if he chooses to, you might be able to talk through some stuff.
    Iskkra

    Answer by Iskkra at 12:01 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I would confront him and see where that goes. Do you want to get to the bottom of this or not? That's the question you need to ask yourself.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:30 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Maybe your Dad is honestly concerned and doesn't know how to talk to you. Maybe he is afraid that there will be a huge fight if he brings it up.
    Don't read the letters when you get them. Then mention to your Dad that you have been getting letters, but throw them away w/out reading them.
    say_tay

    Answer by say_tay at 9:32 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Let it go. If they have that kind of mistrust and misery inside them it will eat them up and you really can't change it. I commend both you and your SO for remaining in a postive relationship for your child. It IS all about her. Keep doing what is best for her and let the rest of it go to heck.
    GrnEyedGrandma

    Answer by GrnEyedGrandma at 9:35 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • What is the letters about? Why would you suspect your DAD?
    I would just delete the e-mails with out reading them.
    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 10:01 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • They are real letters, like sent in the mail. Not signed, no return address. I also just found out a few minutes ago that my sister got the same kind of letter a few months ago. She was dating someone my family HATED. The weird thing is that one of mine came with no stamp, it hadn't been mailed but was just put in my mailbox. My sis' letter came the same way, no stamp. The others i've gotten were all actually mailed. I also suspect my dad because the facts in the letters are things he knows. DD's dad also worked at a restaurant in town and they got three letters about him at the restaurant. My dad and stepmom were the ones who told me he had gotten the job at the restaurant. So weird...
    MarleighsMommy

    Answer by MarleighsMommy at 10:18 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • Don't make a big deal about it. Just tell them to stop sending the letters. There is no need for discussion. He's going to play dumb anyway and insult your intelligence so don't open it for conversation in a confrontation. Just tell him the way it is....cut the crap dad and stop sending the letters.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 10:23 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • I would read them, take note of whatever it says and don't let it get to you. I wouldn't confront your Dad. It's pretty cowardly and immature to send anonymous letters. Sorry. It is not worth your energy. The situation is what it is and you have to make the best of it so that your daughter can have some kind of relationship with her father. Just try to be the most responsible parent you can. If there is something shady with your DD's father, just keep your eyes wide open so you can react accordingly if it's needed.
    hopelessnance

    Answer by hopelessnance at 10:53 PM on Jul. 23, 2009

  • ridiculous.... there are some people in our lives that we are better off without.....

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 11:08 PM on Jul. 23, 2009