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What can I do about a daughter who is 27 years old and I would bet on it that she is bi-polar and refuses to see a doctor? PLEASE HELP!

I have a daughter who just moved back home and is going through a divorce. She has a 3 year boy whom we adore. I would bet my last dollar that she is bi-bolar. She has mood swings from one extreme to another. She is a pack rat and lives like one. I have never seen any room that looks sooo bad, in all my life. She purchase things she does'nt need. She must have at least 20 bottles of lotion, for example. No wonder her husband left her, I could not live with her either and if it were'nt for my grandson, she would be on the street.

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Asked by Anonymous at 3:11 AM on Jul. 24, 2009 in Adult Children (18+)

Answers (19)
  • Has she ever been diagnosed for any mental condition? She could be ADD,ADHD,OCD,or bi-polar. From what you have said she fits any of those. Has she always been like this?

    Answer by ronjwake at 3:14 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • There's nothing you can do she is 27 now. All you can do is talk to her and explain things to her. Good luck


    Answer by Anonymous at 3:14 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Anon that is not correct actually. My father was going thru a spell some years ago and he needed help. My brother and I signed him into the hospital against his will, but we had the lega right to do so. He was there for 2 weeks and got the help he needed.

    Answer by ronjwake at 3:16 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Yeap the person can get the cops called on them and the cops can enact the baker act. which is a mandatory 3 day observation in a mental health facitily. But this act can only be used if the person has voiced or shown harm to themself or others. My x-fil sent out a txt msg to everyone in his phone saying ' he doesnt give a sh*t anymore, he is done!' according to my DH he has threathened ending his own life before. So my DH called the local cops at his dads city (we live in TN, his dad lives in FL), and had them go check on him. They tried talking to him, but he wasnt making any sense, and denied the txts saying he was talking about his vehicle, but didnt send out a clarification text and made everyone worry enough to have the cops called on him by his son who lived almost 10 hrs away. He was taken away and observed for 3 days, no contact with the outside world. Cme to find out he is bipolar! go figure that !

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:30 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • CTD: His other son is a diagnosed Bipolar with manic depressive tendencies who doesnt take meds anymore. All the time I have known this man he has had mood swings, which was worsened by alcohol everyday of the week. he even decided after 27 yrs of marriage he wanted to divorce his wife to live with a stripper he met on a 3 day vacation in FL. which he did and everyone knows he regrets to this MIL wants nothing to do with him anymore, and he knows it I do hope you are able to resolve this for the sake of your grandson

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:34 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Mom, is that you?

    Gosh, you sound just like my mother who "KNEW" I had "manic depression" as she put it. She reported me to the social services in the hospital when I had my first baby, told them I have "manic depression" because "she is up all night and sleeps all day, (but worked as a nurse on the evening shift) , that I live in squalor, (which wasn't true at all). She got the ball rolling with CPS from day my daughter was born, all because she wanted to make herself look and feel better.

    I feel sorry for your daughter. Why can't you try to be less judgmental and try to help her? Why do you insist she has bipolar? Maybe it is ADD? Maybe it's depression or anger or feeling NEGLECTED from the time she was a little girl because all you probably did was make her feel inadequate, like my mother did.

    You need counseling so you can try to determien why you are being so judgmental and hateful.

    Answer by Anonymous at 6:57 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • continued: She made herself look like a damn fool when the caseworker came to see me a few weeks later and said I was doing a great job "with little or no support from my own family, as a single mother, working full time, etc.... with no help from the father.

    This post really touched me as you sound like my own mother. She is the one who needs help but she comes across to so many as so normal when she really is a real whacko but many see it too. She is a fake and can't diagnose a mental condition. She is not a doctor.

    Your daughter is going through hell right now. Be supportive and if you dislike her so much why did you allow her back home? Do you bicker and pick apart everything she does all day long and then go tell your friends and neighbors about how awful she is like my mother did?

    Get some compassion.

    Answer by Anonymous at 7:02 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Unless your daughter is suicidal or is a true threat, there's nothing you can do. Maybe you can gently suggest family counseling. Maybe, maybe your daughter is not bipolar... some people show signs that can mainfest itself as bipolar, ocd, etc. when they are stressed. It's just a coping mechanism. I know I get angry easily when I am stressed, and can go from happy to pissed, to completely teary within minutes. Counseling would help -you- to understand her, and her to understand why she is behaving the way she is. You don't even have to tell her your suspicions, just tell her that you're worried about the hard time she is going through and want to help her through it. Don't pick on her. It'll only make her feel worse. That's the last thing you want to do. Allow her to express her feelings without being judgemental, and calling her bipolar. I bet your dollar there's more going on in her life with her than you realize. Good luck.

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 5:24 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • Oh and also, if she is truly bipolar, the counselor can most likely recognize the signs better than you do (you could have separate, personal sessions as well as family sessions) ... it'd be much better for her to hear a professional bring up this concern with your daughter and direct her to the proper, respected psychologist. If she is bipolar, there are many methods to help her cope, without medications. But I highly doubt she is, hearing what she is going through. Watch for drug and alcohol abuse.

    Answer by ShadesofGrey at 5:27 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

  • So are you criticising or asking for advice? I hope she feels celebrated and not just tolerated in your home because criticism won't help her with any possible mental illness will it?

    Answer by Waxing_Lyrical at 8:40 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

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