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think he cheated before but not anymore..help

i've been with my SO for 2 yrs and we have a newborn. in the beginning it was wonderful and then suddenly I receive a message on myspace that changes everything. his ex gets a hold of me to let me know they have been n contact a lil and they had plans for next day. the next day she forwards me emails of their conversation. it basically said they were gonna meet up and have sex.(these emails arent very reliable) She didnt show up to hotel and well i was on the phone with him at the supposed time to meet. i ask him abt it he says its not true, that night i went on comp. and saw that his email was open so i looked on it and found conversation with the ex! it want sexual but short, and it kinda sounded like planning a meet up. immediately confront him and he still denies, sayimg she must have hacked his comp. also a wki later or so decided to check his phone and called # off his call history and one was a hooker. continued...

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 3:42 AM on Jul. 24, 2009 in Relationships

Answers (7)
  • so our relationship has been goin thru some rough times lately. oh yeah did i mention that when i received the message from the ex i just had our baby 2 wks before then, and my world shattered. for a long time we argued abt it and i almost left, a few times actually. then it eventually started to slowly be forgiven. although til this day he still admits to nothing, i told him i dont believe him but i will forgive him. but this is his one and only chance, there will be no more!!! everyonce in a while t comes up in my mind and ill tell him and he will let me talk abt it. i would like to add that he is an amazing man and great father. he literally gives me evry thing i need or want and truely loves me. he doesnt go out, instead will let me if i want to and pretty much an all around great man, makes me happy. just i get down when i think about the fact that he might have and well i never would. would u have stayed? why or why not
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:52 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • CONTINUE...like i said before that happened we were super happy and to be honest now its been mths and were still very happy. he never ever ever gave me reason to question him before and definitely doesnt now. he has even given me his password to his phone which also gives me axcess to his emails and stuff. i'm not the type to stay if i dont trust but to be honest i do, hes wonderful. just sometimes it creeeps back n my mind and upsets me alittle. hes not secretive or anything.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:59 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Well it sounds to me that you really love this man. if you really think nothing is going on then when you get them thoughts just let them go, as hard as it is don't bring them up, and it will take time, thing about us women our thoughts and problems can take years to get over lol.


    If I was in the situation that you were in I would not leave my hubby, I love him way to much, I don't think I would even leave him if he cheated on me (not that he ever did) I would just be really hard broken cuz I'm so in love with him, it would take time to heal, or your situation it would take time to get over it.

    looovemybabies

    Answer by looovemybabies at 4:26 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I wouldn't be able to handle it if I felt someone was cheating on me. But if you find that he's worth fighting for, I would stay and fight for him. Sounds like you really love him and that's all that counts. Have faith and love what you have. Stop questioning his every move or it will drive you crazy.
    mschanng

    Answer by mschanng at 6:28 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • the EX might be trying to get him back. But then she might be trying to open your eyes to his cheating. Just because he said he is not cheating does not mean he is not doing it. I would make him prove to me he is faithful.

    louise2

    Answer by louise2 at 7:01 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Some men just like to play online. Even if they said they'd meet they obviously didn't so he didn't take it seriously. Men should never play with an ex bc they DO take stuff like that seriously. Many want the guy back and that's dangerous to a new relationship. He may have finally figured that out and contacted the hooker. Btw, how can you tell someone is a hooker by a phone number? I wouldn't put too much into it. Lots of guys still think of sex when a wife is pregnant or after a birth where she can't be his partner for a while. He was just talking to them probably so he could get himself off waiting for you to be ready to play again. Once you can do the do again he'll not have to talk to others about sex. You will be back in his saddle again and all will be well.
    admckenzie

    Answer by admckenzie at 8:15 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • AUTHOR: HE HAS HELPED ME GET OVER THIS &NEVER GAVE UP, ITS BEEN 10MTHS NOW OCCASIONALLY IT COMES UP, HE TALKS TO ME & LETS ME ASK ALL THE ?'S I WANT UNTIL I'M SATISFIED. HE LOVES OUR FAM SO MUCH & DOESNT LET ME FORGET. HE STILL SAYS IT WAS ALL BS FROM HIS EX & SHE HACKED IN2 HIS EMAIL, WHICH APPARENTLY SHE HAS DONE BEFORE. & THE HOOKERS # HE CANT EXPLAIN EXCEPT THAT MAYBE IT HAD TO DO WITH WRK WHICH IS VERY POSSIBLE, DUE 2 THE NATURE OF HIS JOB. BUT HE STILL KNOWS HOW I FEEL ABT IT, I WILL ALWAYS BELIEVE THERE WAS SOMETHG TO ALL OF IT, THERE WAS SOME DECIET BUT NOT SURE EXACTLY WHAT. BUT I FORGIVE HIM CUZ I CANT PROVE ANYTHG &LOVE HIM DEARLY. HES AMAZING! GUESS IT JUST HURTS TO NEVER KNOW, BUT I DEFINITELY FEEL LIKE IF HE WAS GOIN TO BEFORE HE WONT NOW. HE REALIZES HOW EMPTY LIFE WOULD B W/O US.HOPE THAT HE'S NOT REALLY A JERK IN A VERY GOOD DISGUISE, HE' S AN EXTREMELY PROUD DAD & LOVES INTRODUCING US TO EVRY1, DOESNT ADD UP
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 3:02 AM on Jul. 27, 2009

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