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How do i stop blaming myself??

I am wondering is there a mother out there that has ever made a big mistake as a mom???

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Anonymous

Asked by Anonymous at 9:01 AM on Jul. 24, 2009 in School-Age Kids (5-8)

Answers (7)
  • yes. I have made more than one bad very bad mistake. Afterwards as I matured I've spoken to my kids about it and what led me to. I told them my reasons were not excuses for it but it's what happened that made me act that way. Since then my actions have proven and before too that poor judgement on my part caused my behavior.

    I did not when I explained and since then when I have brought it up again, asked for forgiveness. I've always said this is why I acted like that and I want you my kids to learn better and to remember why it's important to be good.

    A very bad partner plus no finances and other instances can make any man or woman go into a tailspin long or short term. What matters is how we recover from it and what we were like before it.

    Get counselling to help you work through your guilt or at least talk to a minister for help in collecting yourself and moving forward to good health physically and emotionally.
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:08 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • i've said some things that i should havn'et to my kids. i really regretted it and my dh brought it up once and i almost went into tears. i felt so horrible for saying that they weren't smarter than antoher kid. i don't even know where it came from but over dinner with extended family one day, it just came out. out of nowhere. i regret it to this day. i haven't brought it up to my kids that i was wrong either. i should say something but don't know if they forgot the incident. probably not, huh?
    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:11 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • i'm first responder. You mean you said to your children that other kids they know are smarter than them? If you screamed and ranted and raved and such, or not, it was said. You know what led you to say it. Write yourself a letter what made you do it or go out on and errand and pull into a parking lot and pretend to be on a phone and say outloud what you did and why. What was happening and what made you say it. And what was everyone's reaction to it then. And what was everyone's reaction since then.

    Then open your windows for those guilt feelings to leave your heart and your car. Then close your windows and say out loud your kids great skills and an accomplishments to stay in you.

    Kids compare themselves and we compare our kids with others. it happens. What matters is if your kids knew often b4 then and since then that you've felt them to be smart. Mistakes happen. Grow from them.

    Anonymous

    Answer by Anonymous at 9:39 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Therapy
    rkoloms

    Answer by rkoloms at 10:21 AM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • No parent is perfect and go through life wondering if what we are doing is the best for our children. We learn from experience and most of those experiences are from the mistakes we've all made. Talk it out with your children and apologize explaining why you said what you said and why it was wrong to say it...journal it...seek a counselor for guidance..... It is a human feeling to feel that you have made a mistake it is what you do with that mistake that paves the pathway for the future. You can't live in the past you have to move forward and know that you are doing the best you can for your children. Don't beat yourself up over it...BIG HUGS!!!
    thetrivetts

    Answer by thetrivetts at 2:31 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I have done it numerous times especially looking back at his first year. He was a reflux baby and I never followed up with the medication because I didn't think it was working. I only gave it a month. If I had maybe that first year would have been different. I have also said things I wished I hadn't but we do that all the time with our spouses, friends, etc. It is what you say and how you say it that makes situations worse.
    robinsi2000

    Answer by robinsi2000 at 2:33 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • Everyone has made 'mistakes' Every child in the world is going to grow up and have some kind of problem and it will be all our fault! lol. No really though. every one messes up sometimes and you can't dwell on it. You can't change the past BUT the past can change you if you take the time to learn from it. I have said things I know I should have never said to my 'challenging' son. Can I take it back? No Did I learn form it ? YES! I can now walk away if i don't think I can keep my mouth shut! There are other more pressing issues I have had to learn from as well but that was the most recent one!
    But_Mommie

    Answer by But_Mommie at 5:10 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

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