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How should I deal with my husband?

I'm sure someone on here has gone through this also. I recently started a new job watching another baby that's one day older than my son. It's stressful enough watching two 5 month olds, but I'm also started night classes next month. I told my husband I'm really going to need help keeping the house clean, since during the week I'll maybe be home about 2 hours before going to bed. He told me I'll have to figure it out, even though he'll be home way more than I will. I just don't know how to relay to him how busy it'll be working, going to school, and just being a wife and mom. What would you do?

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Asked by bugsmommy09 at 12:32 PM on Jul. 24, 2009 in Relationships

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Answers (10)
  • Well you could clean the house a little bit class and some after. He WORKS he doesn't get to stay home like you all day. So clean if that means no computer than oh well. He deserves to come to a clean home.


    Answer by Anonymous at 12:36 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • you are not to like this, but you should wait till your baby gos to school, at same time you go to school. It is a lot less stressful this way.
    Why kill yourself just wait, time does by fast.

    Answer by gammie at 12:37 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • This isn't 1950 . . . I would make it clear to him that you both are busy and that the household stuff MUST be handled by both of you. And if that means leaving things to be undone until he got the message well then they would be left undone.

    Answer by Anonymous at 12:39 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I don't get to stay home all day. I go to the other families house. And, if I didn't have to work, I wouldn't, since I've loved staying home with my son for 5 months.

    And, I can't put off school, since we really need the money. He works 40 hours, just as I do, even if it is just watching another child. It is still a hard job dealing with two five month olds.

    Answer by bugsmommy09 at 12:45 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I am a sahm and although I do the lion share of the house work, my hubby still helps around the house a lot. From taking out the trash to putting away the dishes and even cleaning the bathroom from time to time. i am sorry but I have three kids and I am not going to spend all my time cleaning. My kids will all know there letter numbers colors and shapes before the start preschool. My 5 year old started reading before kindergarten. Being a sahm is a full time job in itself not to mention if you are working and going to school. He can chip in! My husband works construction (i.e manual labor) and still has the energy to help me at home. How many nights does your man get up with the baby? I mean really you have to try to make things equal you can't be expected to do it all.


    Answer by bugandsmiles at 12:45 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • my husband works and still helps me out. He helps mess up the house he can help clean it up. you work too only u dont get paid for it. taking care of 1baby is alot, 2is even harder. plus ur "job" doesnt end at 5oclock! if hes not willing to help i say let the house work wait till u have time

    Answer by EthansMommy5 at 12:45 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • mine thinks that because he works it's ok to come home, throw his smelly socks,boots, and pants on the floor, leave dirty dishes and half- full drinks out for the toddler to knock over if I don't get to it first. He can go outside to check the mail- which ends up on the floor or to smoke or call relatives, but can't take out the trash. He's an inconsiderate slob and I have a very hard time cleaning it all up fast enough. After hearing me bitch long enough, he'll do a fast sloppy cleanup maybe once a week...

    Answer by ranedare at 1:29 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • My Dh and I have a rule: If I'm bringing in half the money (or going to school, etc) then he helps with the housecleaning. Granted, half the time I have to redo it bc I am very OCD, but at least he makes the effort. If he is going to be home more often than you, you need to put your foot down and demand a change.

    Answer by Emuu at 2:06 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • You are working full time(with the other 5 month old), working with your own 5 month old, cleaning house/cooking AND going to school.
    He is... working. Men are limited that way. Clean up as much as you can and what you can't ...oh well. You need to take care of yourself before you go nuts! ( I have been there!) You don't want to deal with medical issues because you put too much stress on yourself!

    Answer by LAMom1 at 3:14 PM on Jul. 24, 2009

  • I've been in school (part-time all but one year) since DD was one (she's almost 5 now). DH said he'd help clean, but he doesn't. Turns out his standard of "clean" and mine are totally different. Find some ways to reduce the amount of cleaning that needs to be done, since you know you're not going to get any help. We use paper plates to reduce the amount of dishes we need to do. Some leftovers can go in disposable ziplock baggies. Do you really have to put the laundy away? I'm not joking - just make sure it gets washed, and let everyone know where they can find it. If it bothers them, maybe they can put it away. Some of the things that have to be done can be done less frequently. If you sweep/vacuum daily, you can do it every other day. Another way I find time for school is to sacrifice some sleep time. It stinks, but I'm only two semesters away from my R.N. degree now. Good luck!

    Answer by Iamgr8teful at 12:49 AM on Jul. 25, 2009

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